My Special Time

Jeff has the lovely pleasure of working every other Saturday. In case you didn't catch that, it was sarcasm. Anyway, since he started having to work this schedule, I have started my own ritual. I get up between 8:00am and 9:00am and go to IHOP. I go alone. I take a book and I go. I always order the same thing because it is really all I like there. Mainly I go for the pancakes but they make a mean omelet as well. I confess that I have been doing this for about 4 months now. My kids sleep in and generally, I am back home before they wake up unless I have errands to run.
It is like a little holiday for me. It allows me to treat myself to a little something special. I have been trying hard not to buy clothes, shoes, or stuff for the house because of the budget. But every other week I spend my $10 for this vice.
Even with all the people talking around me, the clanking of dishes, silverware, etc. I find that this is a great place to lose myself in a book. Mind you, I never take a book that requires deep thought. It is usually something easy to read, something I have read before, or my latest obsession--Newbury Award books. (I am working on reading all the Newbury Award winner books this school year). I spend a leisurely hour or so, eating my breakfast, reading, and relaxing. It is so nice.
Today, I was seated in the middle of the room at a table. I was obviously alone and that was made even more evident when they came took all the other chairs from my table. There were several older couples there and a lot of college kid couples as well. One couple looked over at me and mentioned how sad it was that I was alone. I smiled at them and went on with my reading. You see, several years ago I would not have done this. I was mortified to even think about going to a sit down place where people would stare at me because I was alone. I would drive through places instead. Then one day I decided that I really wanted to eat at a place I loved and the heck with what people thought. I happen to have a book with me at that time and so I ventured in and once I had ordered I pulled out my book. I discovered that I had been foolish in my thinking. What did it matter if other people had a problem with me eating alone? I found that day that I liked it because I could take a few minutes and do something I loved. Read. I was and do complain that I never have time to just sit down and read and here it was. The perfect solution.
Now, I look forward to that time. A perfect little holiday, getaway, vacation. Time to just, as we say at school, Drop Everything And Read (DEAR) time. The only thing I ask is that you don't let Jeff and the boys know. They think I am home in bed during this time. Shhhhh!! :)

I admit it. I am not a football fan. I do not enjoy watching it nor participating in it. I am one of those people that has one of two reasons to be at the game. One, their child is participating in some form or fashion in an aspect of the game. In my case, my 2 younger children are both percussionists in the marching band so therefore I go. The other reason is because the spouse drug you there under protest. I have done that before as well. I know what the stats of the game mean, I know the rules of the game, and I understand the game. I just don't like the game. I don't even like to watch it on television with one exception. Super Bowl. The only reason I like to watch it then use to be for the commercials. Now, the commercials are so trashy at times that I don't enjoy that either.
I guess this dislike for the game goes back to my childhood. It was the absolute one thing that my daddy really watched and got into. He wasn't much of a television kind of guy when I was younger except when football was on. He yells at the television as if they could hear him coaching them. I think he was thrilled when my brother came along so that there would be someone to watch with the same enthusiasm that he had. My mom enjoys football almost as much as my dad. In high school, I would rather babysit than go to a game. The few times I did go were because my brother was playing. I think I went twice. I never have. It must be a rogue recessive gene.
I wanted desperately to be a cheerleader but not to go to the football games. I wanted to cheer for basketball and really and truly, the main reason I wanted to be a cheerleader was so that I could be as loud as I wanted to without getting into trouble for it. Sad, but true.
So when you see me at the football games just sitting there looking bored but still trying to appear interested, you will know. I would rather be talking to friends, texting people, taking pictures, or reading a book (yes, I did that tonight). This just isn't my thing.
Now baseball and basketball are a whole other story.....I love them!!!!

Contemplations

I have been in a contemplative mood of late and have been analyzing things in my life. There are things that I would change and then there are things that I wouldn't change. I think it is fair to say that most everyone contemplates these kinds of things at one time or another in their life.
As I have stated before, one thing that I would do if I had the finances, etc. is to become a wedding planner. I like the idea more and more and if I had a shot I would do it. Another thing I would do is (and of course this would fall under the "if I had unlimited amounts of money" category) find a secluded area where there was access to a decent sized river, mountains, forest, and such that was only accessible by air. I would then have a solid, well insulated cabin built that had good solar energy panels, a good sized windmill, good fireplace, back up generator, water well, and satellite computer/phone service. I think it would be interesting to see if I could survive there. Of course I would start with plenty of supplies so that I could get going. I could see myself doing just fine in that environment. I have even sketched a drawing of the cabin. I didn't say that I would be without comforts because anyone who knows me, knows that roughing it means staying at the Motel 6. :)
As for things that don't require the "unlimited funds", I would like to have a nice garden, home canned goods in the pantry, chickens that lay eggs, and some things like that. Sadly, there is Chico so the chicken thing is out. I think I could do the gardening and canning.
Things I would not change are my husband and my boys. They are my life line. I think I would feel aimlessly lost without my family. Don't get me wrong, I know that God is first and foremost in my life and that He is my rock. That is a biggie. I just love having my guys around. I love having their sense of humor, their antics, even their arguing. They are the bright spots in my life.
I guess I am having a restless time in my spirit right now and that is the reason for all of this. Well, time to calm the restlessness and get back to reality.

Selfish

I am such a selfish person. There I admit it. It's not something I am proud of but I am.
I am selfish when it comes to Jeff and the boys. I know there are times when I say I need a break but really and truly, I can't stand not being with them. I am one of the people that would have a "compound" out where I live with my kids and their families living here so that all of them would be around me.
I am selfish when it comes to my kids at school. I expect everyone to do what is best for them and when someone is unwilling to do that then I tend to get a bit on the (VERY) irritated side of life. Basically, when it comes to my kids, it's my way or the highway. There is no gray area.
I am selfish when it comes to my time. I tend to volunteer a lot and agree to do things even though I am already busy beyond belief. Then I have a problem understanding why I am tired and stressed. I am getting better about saying "no" and not volunteering so much. I am a work in progress in this area.
I am selfish when it comes to time with God. I work hard every day to spend time with God. Most of the time, I pray but I do try to work in some bible study. Bible study is not my strong suit but I am getting better about it. I am working on areas that God leads me to and I am learning a lot. I always allow time in my day to pray. I am very selfish about this.
I wish I could tell you that I am getting better at not being so selfish but sadly, this is not the case. I am a work in progress. What more can I say?