Mental Chaos

I have to write about my thoughts and feelings because I learned this week that if I talk about what I am feeling and thinking then people get mad because they say I "do this every year" or they start talking about how I need to go get put on anti-depressants so that the yo-yo emotions will stop. I have so many thoughts going through my head and as a result my brain is in overload so I am not sleeping. I am worried about my high school son. He is going to be in Junior level classes this year. I thought he was a sophomore but apparently things are not as they seem. He is also in the marching band and in golf. He tends to be a perfectionist so I hope he does well with everything he is involved in this year. I am also worrying about my youngest who is starting 8th grade this year. I am hoping that this is the year he settles down and takes school seriously. He is a lot like the oldest child in that every thing is a social event and school is just another place to go and hang out with friends. I worry about my oldest. I did cry just as hard at leaving him as I did his first year. I think it was harder this year. I just hope that all my boys remember to study once in a while. Despite all my worrying, I am hoping for a good year this year. I am always apprehensive about it until I get going into a routine. I already know that the paperwork load is going to be outrageous until I get everything into the new system. I am just hoping that I don't forget all the training I just went through.
I found myself sliding back into some old habits that I thought I had gotten rid of. One was that I planned out my wardrobe for a complete six weeks. I have also taken to start putting my sock drawer back into ABC order according to color. I redid my skirts in my closet tonight and put them in ABC order by color. I did stop myself from putting my cookbooks in ABC order. I had to draw the line somewhere. I find that when I do this then it means that I stressing about something I have no control over. Well, let me tell you. I have plenty right now that falls into that category but it will stay buried and my closet will once again become alphabetized and organized. Organization can be a good thing.
I know that I am random in my thoughts this time but like I said earlier, my thoughts are everywhere but settled. I am praying for peace and sleep and for all of us to remain calm, cool, and collected in the midst of my mental chaos.