The Missing Gene

I firmly believe that when God gave out genes for girls, I must have been looking around at something else or having an ADD moment. I think this because I am seriously one of the most un-girly people I know.
I have tried repeatedly to do girly things. My mom is an excellent seamstress and can make just about anything on the sewing machine. Now she felt the need to impart some of her wisdom into her daughter as most moms do and after teaching me to do basic stitching, I think she gave up. I didn't have the patience for it nor did I sit still long enough to finish things. I did make an apron for everyone in the family one year but that is the extent of my seam stressing.
My husband has two sisters. They both crochet, scrapbook, make amazing things out of paper, garden like a master gardener, and can decorate a room with nothing more than duct tape and some nails and it looks like the magazine picture. I have tried to crochet or rather I am still trying to crochet. I have given up trying to really make any one thing and am now just crocheting the same simple stitch over and over into a huge muffler or something resembling that until I run out of this color of yarn. I have two more skeins to go before that happens. I started that project at Christmas 2008. As for scrap booking, well I let's just say that I supported my sister-in-law by buying stuff from her. She is going to just die when she reads that I have every photo we own in a shoe box and most of it is not labeled. I really want to garden but I tend to forget about watering, picking the produce, etc. Weeds love me. They grow well for me even without my encouragement. I have no paper making ability. I have tried only to end up in disaster. Decorating is only in my head. I can't seem to get it out of my brain and into action.
My brother's wife is into Mary Kay. I am HUGE disappointment to her although she faithfully continues to try to convert me into using makeup. I buy it and fully intend to use it and when I do, my guys never notice. It takes time to do makeup and again, I lose interest even while trying to attempt to put it on without looking like a two year old did it. Wait, I think even a two year old can do better than I do at this.
My mother-in-law can draw and quilt beautifully. I started a quilt 6 or was it 7 years ago. I have done two rows on it and it is still sitting in a box somewhere... I think. I don't remember. I have some really pretty fat quarters that I dream of making into these wonderful creations for grandchildren. I am pretty sure no one should hold their breath on that.
I have also started latch hooking a rug for the kitchen some time last year. It is about 1/10 of the way done. Then I had this brilliant idea to do a needlepoint project for each of the sisters-in-law for Christmas 2008. They are about 1/2 done....still.
Growing up I wanted to be a cheerleader but only because you could be loud and didn't get into trouble for it. I wanted to play volleyball and basketball because you could hit things. Okay maybe not so much in basketball but you get the idea. When my friends would call me on the phone to "just talk", I would ask if they had something they wanted and if not then I would say goodbye and hang up.
I don't like the color pink even though I do wear it. I am okay with purple, because it isn't pink. My hair do consists of brushing it in the morning and periodically making sure it isn't sticking straight up. No products, no style. Trust me I have tried but to no avail. My toenails are painted by me and I do try to keep them that since my husband likes them to be painted. I went for fake nails before and kept breaking them to the point that it was costing more for me to fix them than to actually have them.
I don't own any high heels. My dress shoes are sparkly sandals or a clean pair of tennis shoes. I do own a pair of boots that get worn a bit. Most of my clothes are mix and match. If I can't make something work into three or four different outfits then I don't usually buy it. I am constantly trying to get out stains from my clothes because I forget to change from my school clothes to my at home clothes. If cleanliness is next to godliness then I am so far back, you need binoculars for me to even come close.
So you see, I really think that I must have been playing in the dirt or looking around when God handed out the girly gene. Can you imagine me in high heels, full makeup, girly girl clothes, and perfect hair and nails.....BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! Sorry. I had a mental image.......hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!