I have been watching my "Father Knows Best" dvd lately. I just got the 3rd season so I had to watch it. :) Anyway, it got me to thinking about how much life has changed since that era. I know that this is just a television show but from what I have been told by my grandparents (when they were alive) and what I have seen in photos and read about, it was a fairly accurate depiction of what life was like. I know that they were a super sweet family where everything worked out perfectly and nothing bad ever happened in their lives. That is not what I am referring to. I am talking about the family life.
For those not familiar with this show, it was set in about the 1940's to 1950's. The mom was in charge of the house and the dad was in charge of having the job to make the money for the family. The kids were respectful to their parents and other adults.
What got me to thinking was that the house was always clean and immaculate. That was the mom's job. I struggle to stay on top of the laundry and keep the kitchen clean but then again I work outside the home. That was another thing. Once you got married, you no longer worked outside of the home because your job was the home. I would like to think that I could keep my house in order like they did if I stayed at home. You would think that you would get bored with that job but the mom in this time cleaned the kids' rooms, her room, the kitchen, etc., did the mending, shopping for meals, cooking, etc. In one episode the dad states that they have enough money in the budget to splurge once that month and go out to dinner. How many times a week do we go out to eat?
The whole family sat down to dinner together. There were very little excuses for not doing this. The family didn't just come in and watch television at night (this family had one at that time but it was a luxury then). They did puzzles, played games, went outside, sewed, crocheted, read books, etc. When was the last time the television and computers were shut off and we spent time doing something together without spending money or going somewhere?
Women actually dressed up for their husbands at night, modesty was actually something that people wanted to have, and family time meant talking to each other, doing things together--not just being in the same room together.
Will we ever get that lifestyle back or are we just too busy or whatever? What would it take? Would we be willing to make the sacrifices that it would take to get this type of life back or is that asking too much?
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Perspective
For the last few days I have been at my mom and dad's for a mini vacation. Now anyone who really knows me is probably shaking their heads. It has been a good visit but it has given me some perspective. I needed that.
I love my husband even though there are times when he drives me crazy. I love my kids even though they drive me crazy at times. About an hour into driving to my parents house I started wondering if my kids were okay. I worried about them and called them about 6 times with one piddly thing after another so I could put my mind at ease. A little bit further down the road, I started wondering if my husband was really glad I was gone or did he really miss me or did he just miss someone cooking and taking care of the kids. I started texting him a billion messages (Kids--DO NOT Text message while driving!! That's dangerous.) My family endured this and I think breathed a sigh of relief when I got to my parents home.
I realized that my husband and I have talked more to each other over texts and emails than we do when we are home together. I jokingly told him that when I get home I will just text him our conversations and then our communication skills might show some improvement. I am was joking of course but I do need to work on my skills.
The thing that got my attention the most was this. I realized that I take my husband for granted. I assume that he is always going to be there, that he will realize when I am mad, sad, happy, etc.. and that he will love me no matter what I do. I know in my heart he will always love me but he may not like my decisions. He will always be there until God decides when he needs to leave. Mostly, I need to let him know what I am feeling instead of him having to pick up on the cues and figure it out on his own. I just figure if I am crying or slamming kitchen cabinets then he is going to know why. Ladies, it does not work like that. If anything it confuses the men more and then they get frustrated which comes across as sarcasm and anger.
Another important thing I learned is that I tend to be critical of my husband. I tell people all the time about things he has done but then I joke about the things that he hasn't done or did wrong or such as that. I don't mean to put him down but every time I joke about it or tell someone the negatives about him, I am being critical and basically running him down. I was crushed when I realized that is what I had been doing. I am so sorry for doing that to him. That is something that will immediately be fixed. Am I going to change all of this overnight? No, it will take some conscience effort but I know that I would hate to have my husband sitting there thinking--"if she says one more thing about me, uses that tone with me, etc. then I am out of here." I am pretty certain that he would not think about leaving or even do that but I would not want to take the chance.
I think that these mini vacations I periodically take once every so often are good for all of us because then we have all stepped back and taken a nice long breath and feel as though we can stand up, dust ourselves off, and begin again.
Cook up a good meal, doll yourselves up, and shower your husband with some real attention once in a while, Ladies. Men--Buy your wife some beautiful flowers (not the entire plant) but fresh cut beautiful flowers and come home and snuggle with your wife for an evening or two. Trust me, that puts everything into perspective and all is right again.
I love my husband even though there are times when he drives me crazy. I love my kids even though they drive me crazy at times. About an hour into driving to my parents house I started wondering if my kids were okay. I worried about them and called them about 6 times with one piddly thing after another so I could put my mind at ease. A little bit further down the road, I started wondering if my husband was really glad I was gone or did he really miss me or did he just miss someone cooking and taking care of the kids. I started texting him a billion messages (Kids--DO NOT Text message while driving!! That's dangerous.) My family endured this and I think breathed a sigh of relief when I got to my parents home.
I realized that my husband and I have talked more to each other over texts and emails than we do when we are home together. I jokingly told him that when I get home I will just text him our conversations and then our communication skills might show some improvement. I am was joking of course but I do need to work on my skills.
The thing that got my attention the most was this. I realized that I take my husband for granted. I assume that he is always going to be there, that he will realize when I am mad, sad, happy, etc.. and that he will love me no matter what I do. I know in my heart he will always love me but he may not like my decisions. He will always be there until God decides when he needs to leave. Mostly, I need to let him know what I am feeling instead of him having to pick up on the cues and figure it out on his own. I just figure if I am crying or slamming kitchen cabinets then he is going to know why. Ladies, it does not work like that. If anything it confuses the men more and then they get frustrated which comes across as sarcasm and anger.
Another important thing I learned is that I tend to be critical of my husband. I tell people all the time about things he has done but then I joke about the things that he hasn't done or did wrong or such as that. I don't mean to put him down but every time I joke about it or tell someone the negatives about him, I am being critical and basically running him down. I was crushed when I realized that is what I had been doing. I am so sorry for doing that to him. That is something that will immediately be fixed. Am I going to change all of this overnight? No, it will take some conscience effort but I know that I would hate to have my husband sitting there thinking--"if she says one more thing about me, uses that tone with me, etc. then I am out of here." I am pretty certain that he would not think about leaving or even do that but I would not want to take the chance.
I think that these mini vacations I periodically take once every so often are good for all of us because then we have all stepped back and taken a nice long breath and feel as though we can stand up, dust ourselves off, and begin again.
Cook up a good meal, doll yourselves up, and shower your husband with some real attention once in a while, Ladies. Men--Buy your wife some beautiful flowers (not the entire plant) but fresh cut beautiful flowers and come home and snuggle with your wife for an evening or two. Trust me, that puts everything into perspective and all is right again.
Hey! What's For Supper?
I have been out of town the last few days but I wanted to let everyone know that this week is going to feature Sopapilla Cheesecake Recipe, Ranch Bicuit Dough/Cinnamon Roll Recipe, and King Ranch Chicken Recipe. I will post these on Monday evening and then as I make them throughout the week, I will post the pictures. Hang in there. Eat what you like and pass on the rest.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
What I Feel
Lately, I have been on the verge of sitting down and having a good cry. It is this feeling that is right at the surface. I know that there are several people who will read this and instantly want to know what is wrong. Well, if I knew the answer to that question then maybe I wouldn't feel like this. I think a lot of it has to do with school finally being over with, the holiday stuff, and just life itself. No, actually it is depression. Why am I depressed? I don't know. I have dealt with this for a long time. I just know that I have some days that are really dark and I feel totally alone even though I am surrounded by 4 great guys. It is during those days that I feel like I don't belong anywhere.
I have a loving family. I have a great home. I have all that I need. I have a job and nowadays that is a lot. I have loving and caring friends. I know all this and I am glad and appreciative but there are the days that even that doesn't clear out the darkness, sadness, or tears. I have passages marked in my Bible for times like this so that I can read the reassuring words that God has given us. A lot of times I can tell when this is going to hit and I start preparing for it. I have actually done well in recognizing when it is coming. Only not lately. Lately, I have allowed it to take hold of me. Well, I need to pick myself up, dust myself off, and begin again.
Maybe I will buy me some flowers to brighten my counter top. It's a start.
I have a loving family. I have a great home. I have all that I need. I have a job and nowadays that is a lot. I have loving and caring friends. I know all this and I am glad and appreciative but there are the days that even that doesn't clear out the darkness, sadness, or tears. I have passages marked in my Bible for times like this so that I can read the reassuring words that God has given us. A lot of times I can tell when this is going to hit and I start preparing for it. I have actually done well in recognizing when it is coming. Only not lately. Lately, I have allowed it to take hold of me. Well, I need to pick myself up, dust myself off, and begin again.
Maybe I will buy me some flowers to brighten my counter top. It's a start.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Heart's Desires
As some of you know, having children kind of curtails your wants and desires as a parent. You give up so that they can have. It is just what parents do. I know that I have a lot of wants and very few needs but there is one thing that has burned within me for years now. Yes, years.
I want to go to Africa. Not as a tourist but to go to the orphanages and to play with the children. To share with them something that money can't buy. Some love, attention, and the knowledge that God loves them no matter where they are. No matter what the circumstances are.
I was suppose to go several years ago. Jeff and I had made a deal about me going with a group. As things would go, every emergency known that could go wrong with the finances did and I ended up staying home. I also ended up having gall bladder surgery about the same time that I would have been in Africa. I consider that God's timing.
I was excited the next year because I just knew I was going to get another shot at going. Then Andy got a shot at going to Thailand. I couldn't stand in his way. It was a chance of a lifetime for him. I believe it changed him inside and out for the better.
For the last couple of years I would mention it to Jeff and he would sigh and say, if we had the money then he would let me go but...... As a parent, there is always a but. So, I decided I would go with my in-laws on their mission trips. It wasn't Africa but I knew I needed to go. Once again....life. We sent Will instead. He has such a heart for that and looks forward every year to going. He starts asking in March if there is going to be a mission trip. This year, Jeff announced we would all be going on the mission trip. I was excited. For about 3 days..... Another but had come into our lives. So, this year Will is going on mission trip with his grandparents and without all of us. I get so frustrated but then I realize that my children are heeding the call and I will not stand in the way of God using them. My time will come.
Every time I look at pictures or hear testimonies of people who have gone to Africa, I cry. I cry because my heart just about bursts when I hear about it. My heart pounds and my pulse quickens, I want to stand up and scream, "Send Me! Send Me!" For me that is my desires wanting desperately to be heard. Trust me. God and I have had numerous conversations regarding this. He calms me down and I know in the depths of my heart that one day I am going to get to go. I read a book called, "I Danced in Africa". Actually, I have read it several times. A dear friend gave it to me to read. It speaks so clearly what I feel and what I desire.
I don't think my family understands this burning in my system. I think they just look at it as I want to just sight see and travel. There is so much more to all of this than any of them can imagine. I hope that when I do get the opportunity, they will understand and see what my heart yearns for.
I am waiting for the buts, the emergencies, the frustrations, and the stuff to settle down. I am waiting. As patiently as I can, which if you know me is really hard for me to do because I am not so patient. Some day I will have my heart's desire and some day I will dance and I will sing (more like make a joyful noise) and I will hold those children in Africa. God says He will give us the desires of our heart and I hang on to that every day. I am waiting.
I want to go to Africa. Not as a tourist but to go to the orphanages and to play with the children. To share with them something that money can't buy. Some love, attention, and the knowledge that God loves them no matter where they are. No matter what the circumstances are.
I was suppose to go several years ago. Jeff and I had made a deal about me going with a group. As things would go, every emergency known that could go wrong with the finances did and I ended up staying home. I also ended up having gall bladder surgery about the same time that I would have been in Africa. I consider that God's timing.
I was excited the next year because I just knew I was going to get another shot at going. Then Andy got a shot at going to Thailand. I couldn't stand in his way. It was a chance of a lifetime for him. I believe it changed him inside and out for the better.
For the last couple of years I would mention it to Jeff and he would sigh and say, if we had the money then he would let me go but...... As a parent, there is always a but. So, I decided I would go with my in-laws on their mission trips. It wasn't Africa but I knew I needed to go. Once again....life. We sent Will instead. He has such a heart for that and looks forward every year to going. He starts asking in March if there is going to be a mission trip. This year, Jeff announced we would all be going on the mission trip. I was excited. For about 3 days..... Another but had come into our lives. So, this year Will is going on mission trip with his grandparents and without all of us. I get so frustrated but then I realize that my children are heeding the call and I will not stand in the way of God using them. My time will come.
Every time I look at pictures or hear testimonies of people who have gone to Africa, I cry. I cry because my heart just about bursts when I hear about it. My heart pounds and my pulse quickens, I want to stand up and scream, "Send Me! Send Me!" For me that is my desires wanting desperately to be heard. Trust me. God and I have had numerous conversations regarding this. He calms me down and I know in the depths of my heart that one day I am going to get to go. I read a book called, "I Danced in Africa". Actually, I have read it several times. A dear friend gave it to me to read. It speaks so clearly what I feel and what I desire.
I don't think my family understands this burning in my system. I think they just look at it as I want to just sight see and travel. There is so much more to all of this than any of them can imagine. I hope that when I do get the opportunity, they will understand and see what my heart yearns for.
I am waiting for the buts, the emergencies, the frustrations, and the stuff to settle down. I am waiting. As patiently as I can, which if you know me is really hard for me to do because I am not so patient. Some day I will have my heart's desire and some day I will dance and I will sing (more like make a joyful noise) and I will hold those children in Africa. God says He will give us the desires of our heart and I hang on to that every day. I am waiting.
My Attempt at cooking Corn
I was kind of impressed with myself tonight. I cooked corn on the cob for the first time ever on my own. Now I know that people are saying, "So what. We cook it all the time." but if you have never attempted it and have someone whose mom is good at doing it then it can make you nervous. I think I did really well. After I shucked the corn (yes, actually shucked the strings and all from it) I boiled the corn. Since I had never done it I had no idea how long to cook it. I went for the stand by of 15 minutes. I stabbed it a couple of times and finally I took the chance and served it up with some chicken marinated and cooked in Italian dressing. Jeff ate the corn and told me it was pretty good. I take this as a compliment because he did eat all the corn on his cob. I ate some even though I am not a big corn fan and thought it was good. Now I know I can do it. I have done something I wasn't sure I could.
I think I am going to try my hand at making real creamed corn next with the leftover corn on the cob. Think what I could do if I had a garden with fresh veggies to can. Hint, Hint, Jeff.
I think I am going to try my hand at making real creamed corn next with the leftover corn on the cob. Think what I could do if I had a garden with fresh veggies to can. Hint, Hint, Jeff.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Hey! What's For Supper?
Hippy Stew Lynne's Way
(Named so because we got the recipe from a friend who's father is a former hippy)
2 pounds ground Meat
2 Cans diced tomatoes
2 Cans of tomato sauce
2 Cans of Rotel Tomatoes
2 Cans of Whole Kernel Corn (DO NOT DRAIN)
2 Cans of Green Beans (DO NOT DRAIN)
2 Cans of Ranch Style Beans
Chili Powder
Garlic Powder
Onions
Cayenne Pepper
1. Brown the ground meat and onions together.
2. Add chili powder until it completely covers the meat.
3. Spread a couple of slashes of garli.c powder on that.
4. Add as much cayenne pepper as you and/or your family likes. DISCLAIMER!!!--I am heavy handed with this so mine can be quite spicy at times. If you eat this recipe at my house, it can be hot.
(Named so because we got the recipe from a friend who's father is a former hippy)
2 pounds ground Meat
2 Cans diced tomatoes
2 Cans of tomato sauce
2 Cans of Rotel Tomatoes
2 Cans of Whole Kernel Corn (DO NOT DRAIN)
2 Cans of Green Beans (DO NOT DRAIN)
2 Cans of Ranch Style Beans
Chili Powder
Garlic Powder
Onions
Cayenne Pepper
1. Brown the ground meat and onions together.
2. Add chili powder until it completely covers the meat.
3. Spread a couple of slashes of garli.c powder on that.
4. Add as much cayenne pepper as you and/or your family likes. DISCLAIMER!!!--I am heavy handed with this so mine can be quite spicy at times. If you eat this recipe at my house, it can be hot.
5. Mix meat, onions, and spices together and simmer for as long as it takes for you to open all the cans.
6. Add remaining ingredients to meat mixture.
7. Stir and simmer for 5-10 minutes so spices can blend in.
I serve this with homemade cornbread and a little mozzarella cheese. It has veggies in it so I usually don't make a side dish.
6. Add remaining ingredients to meat mixture.
7. Stir and simmer for 5-10 minutes so spices can blend in.
I serve this with homemade cornbread and a little mozzarella cheese. It has veggies in it so I usually don't make a side dish.
Entertaining Thoughts
When Jeff and I started building our house there was one thing that we both said that it had to have. A place for us to entertain family and friends and for our kids to have youth group and friends over. So we did just that.
I may stress up until the exact moment the guests come, but I do enjoy being a hostess at get togethers. I try to mix and mingle but at the same time I want my guests to worry for nothing. I keep the tea and lemonade filled, check the ice and make sure we have some and that there is plenty to eat at all time.
This past weekend we had 52 people for lunch and somewhere around 65 people for fireworks. Needless to say it was crowded, loud, and wild at times but it was great to watch everyone visiting with each other and to see friends and family relax. I think they relaxed. Anyway.... I love watching the kids renew friendships, play baseball, run, yell, and just be kids. It is the one day that we banned electronics from our kids because we had guests but I saw them laugh and enjoy visiting with others. My husband was busy talking with others and visiting and that made me glad because he doesn't talk a lot. He seemed to really have fun.
We may not have the money to travel like I want to or to go on exotic vacations, but I think we have something better. We have family and friends who feel comfortable enough to come here and relax and visit. We are blessed with family and friends who don't care whether we have done everything that the "Smiths/Jones" have done. I love looking at photos of people's trips and all and my husband continuously hears me say I want to travel but I would give up a trip to have my family and friends gathered around me.
I hope that everyone who came this weekend enjoyed themselves as much as I did.
I may stress up until the exact moment the guests come, but I do enjoy being a hostess at get togethers. I try to mix and mingle but at the same time I want my guests to worry for nothing. I keep the tea and lemonade filled, check the ice and make sure we have some and that there is plenty to eat at all time.
This past weekend we had 52 people for lunch and somewhere around 65 people for fireworks. Needless to say it was crowded, loud, and wild at times but it was great to watch everyone visiting with each other and to see friends and family relax. I think they relaxed. Anyway.... I love watching the kids renew friendships, play baseball, run, yell, and just be kids. It is the one day that we banned electronics from our kids because we had guests but I saw them laugh and enjoy visiting with others. My husband was busy talking with others and visiting and that made me glad because he doesn't talk a lot. He seemed to really have fun.
We may not have the money to travel like I want to or to go on exotic vacations, but I think we have something better. We have family and friends who feel comfortable enough to come here and relax and visit. We are blessed with family and friends who don't care whether we have done everything that the "Smiths/Jones" have done. I love looking at photos of people's trips and all and my husband continuously hears me say I want to travel but I would give up a trip to have my family and friends gathered around me.
I hope that everyone who came this weekend enjoyed themselves as much as I did.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
The Girlie Issue Follow Up
Okay, I have some girlie-ness in me. It has been pointed out by several people that there are aspects of my life that are truly girlie-ish. Like the fact that I like to bake and that I cook quite a bit. I call it survival when it comes to cooking. With three teenage boys and all their friends, that is what it seems like. The baking though is my stress relief.
Take today for instance, I know that I have truckloads of people coming to my house on Saturday. I know that most of the time, everyone will be in and out. I still want my house to look nice and neat. If I could I would deep clean every nook and cranny but unfortunately I don't have that kind of time thanks to teaching summer school up until yesterday. The boys have "helped" but I will be revisiting several areas they "cleaned". What does that have to do with baking? Well, I have had the urge for three days now to make bread from scratch, bake a pound cake, bake a chocolate pound cake, and make chicken enchilada soup from scratch. I have resisted these urges because I know that they are crowding in because of all I have to get done. They are my procrastination encouragers. Every time I have something terribly important or stressful to do, the urge to bake crashes in. I have to admit that 90% of the time, I gladly give in and then regret sets in because now I have a mess to clean up on top of everything else. If you have never seen me in the kitchen then you have no idea what kind of mess I can make. Come to think of it, that's why I end up having clothes that are ruined with stains and such.
I guess I am girlie in the fact that I do like to shop. Although if you have ever shopped with me, it is a little bizarre. I tend to find something, talk myself into buying it, carry it around the store for a while, then put it back. That is shopping. Now there are the few occasions when I actually do buy something that I have talked myself into but usually I have seen it several times or know that it is exactly what I am looking for.
So you see, I guess I am more girlie than I thought. I secretly wish that I could be the Doris Day, Audrey Hepburn, or Grace Kelly type but I am more of a Laura Ingalls Wilder (Little House on the Prairie) or an Olivia Walton (The Waltons) type girl.
I am okay with the fact that I bake and that I have a little girlie touch here and there. I really and truly don't think that the world is ready to handle it if I was much more girlier than that.
Take today for instance, I know that I have truckloads of people coming to my house on Saturday. I know that most of the time, everyone will be in and out. I still want my house to look nice and neat. If I could I would deep clean every nook and cranny but unfortunately I don't have that kind of time thanks to teaching summer school up until yesterday. The boys have "helped" but I will be revisiting several areas they "cleaned". What does that have to do with baking? Well, I have had the urge for three days now to make bread from scratch, bake a pound cake, bake a chocolate pound cake, and make chicken enchilada soup from scratch. I have resisted these urges because I know that they are crowding in because of all I have to get done. They are my procrastination encouragers. Every time I have something terribly important or stressful to do, the urge to bake crashes in. I have to admit that 90% of the time, I gladly give in and then regret sets in because now I have a mess to clean up on top of everything else. If you have never seen me in the kitchen then you have no idea what kind of mess I can make. Come to think of it, that's why I end up having clothes that are ruined with stains and such.
I guess I am girlie in the fact that I do like to shop. Although if you have ever shopped with me, it is a little bizarre. I tend to find something, talk myself into buying it, carry it around the store for a while, then put it back. That is shopping. Now there are the few occasions when I actually do buy something that I have talked myself into but usually I have seen it several times or know that it is exactly what I am looking for.
So you see, I guess I am more girlie than I thought. I secretly wish that I could be the Doris Day, Audrey Hepburn, or Grace Kelly type but I am more of a Laura Ingalls Wilder (Little House on the Prairie) or an Olivia Walton (The Waltons) type girl.
I am okay with the fact that I bake and that I have a little girlie touch here and there. I really and truly don't think that the world is ready to handle it if I was much more girlier than that.
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