Perspective

For the last few days I have been at my mom and dad's for a mini vacation. Now anyone who really knows me is probably shaking their heads. It has been a good visit but it has given me some perspective. I needed that.
I love my husband even though there are times when he drives me crazy. I love my kids even though they drive me crazy at times. About an hour into driving to my parents house I started wondering if my kids were okay. I worried about them and called them about 6 times with one piddly thing after another so I could put my mind at ease. A little bit further down the road, I started wondering if my husband was really glad I was gone or did he really miss me or did he just miss someone cooking and taking care of the kids. I started texting him a billion messages (Kids--DO NOT Text message while driving!! That's dangerous.) My family endured this and I think breathed a sigh of relief when I got to my parents home.
I realized that my husband and I have talked more to each other over texts and emails than we do when we are home together. I jokingly told him that when I get home I will just text him our conversations and then our communication skills might show some improvement. I am was joking of course but I do need to work on my skills.
The thing that got my attention the most was this. I realized that I take my husband for granted. I assume that he is always going to be there, that he will realize when I am mad, sad, happy, etc.. and that he will love me no matter what I do. I know in my heart he will always love me but he may not like my decisions. He will always be there until God decides when he needs to leave. Mostly, I need to let him know what I am feeling instead of him having to pick up on the cues and figure it out on his own. I just figure if I am crying or slamming kitchen cabinets then he is going to know why. Ladies, it does not work like that. If anything it confuses the men more and then they get frustrated which comes across as sarcasm and anger.
Another important thing I learned is that I tend to be critical of my husband. I tell people all the time about things he has done but then I joke about the things that he hasn't done or did wrong or such as that. I don't mean to put him down but every time I joke about it or tell someone the negatives about him, I am being critical and basically running him down. I was crushed when I realized that is what I had been doing. I am so sorry for doing that to him. That is something that will immediately be fixed. Am I going to change all of this overnight? No, it will take some conscience effort but I know that I would hate to have my husband sitting there thinking--"if she says one more thing about me, uses that tone with me, etc. then I am out of here." I am pretty certain that he would not think about leaving or even do that but I would not want to take the chance.
I think that these mini vacations I periodically take once every so often are good for all of us because then we have all stepped back and taken a nice long breath and feel as though we can stand up, dust ourselves off, and begin again.
Cook up a good meal, doll yourselves up, and shower your husband with some real attention once in a while, Ladies. Men--Buy your wife some beautiful flowers (not the entire plant) but fresh cut beautiful flowers and come home and snuggle with your wife for an evening or two. Trust me, that puts everything into perspective and all is right again.