Lately, I have been on the verge of sitting down and having a good cry. It is this feeling that is right at the surface. I know that there are several people who will read this and instantly want to know what is wrong. Well, if I knew the answer to that question then maybe I wouldn't feel like this. I think a lot of it has to do with school finally being over with, the holiday stuff, and just life itself. No, actually it is depression. Why am I depressed? I don't know. I have dealt with this for a long time. I just know that I have some days that are really dark and I feel totally alone even though I am surrounded by 4 great guys. It is during those days that I feel like I don't belong anywhere.
I have a loving family. I have a great home. I have all that I need. I have a job and nowadays that is a lot. I have loving and caring friends. I know all this and I am glad and appreciative but there are the days that even that doesn't clear out the darkness, sadness, or tears. I have passages marked in my Bible for times like this so that I can read the reassuring words that God has given us. A lot of times I can tell when this is going to hit and I start preparing for it. I have actually done well in recognizing when it is coming. Only not lately. Lately, I have allowed it to take hold of me. Well, I need to pick myself up, dust myself off, and begin again.
Maybe I will buy me some flowers to brighten my counter top. It's a start.
No comments:
Post a Comment