Without Him

I have been having some really bad days lately unrelated to family. I will admit it. I am literally praying for God's strength every day to get me through the day. You see I hate conflict and everywhere I turn there seems to be conflict. I get physically ill when I have to deal with conflict. It is something I don't do well with. Thankfully, God has been my rock. He has acknowledged my request everyday. He has pulled me up by the bootstraps and helped me to face each problem with strength and dignity. He has honored my request to help me keep my mouth shut and to keep me busy with things I need to do with my job. When I get home, I have this wonderful man that God provided in my life who wraps his arms around me, holds me, and loves me no matter what.
Today, I melted down over the simplest thing. I had forgotten to activate my debit card. When I went to check out, I used my card and it was denied. Now, I knew that the day before my paycheck had been put into the account and there was money there. I looked at the poor clerk (who happened to be a man) and just started crying. There in Target, was this 43 year old woman crying. He looked around for someone to bale him out. I told him I would be back. I went to the car and even though my husband was at work, I called him. Normally, he would have been less than happy with me calling him on the job because he is busy but today, he took my call and calmly told me what the problem was. I hung up and went to find a wi-fi spot to do what he said and ran up against problem after problem. The people on the phone with me were wonderful and calm. Again I ended up having to call my husband because I was quickly becoming computer illiterate by the second. Again, he calmly walked me through what I needed to do and stayed on the phone with me until I got to where I needed to. He never complained about why I had waited to do this or why I was picking this time to be this incompetent but was sweet, calm, and reassuring. It was what I needed.
I then went back to the store and faced the poor clerk again. He looked warily at me and I smiled and told him I had gotten the problem fixed. He quickly rang up my purchase and then as we finished, he leaned forward and said, "I really hope the rest of your day is brighter." and smiled at me. It was a little bright spot in what had been thunder clouds before. I then called my sister-in-law (Thoughts from the Treadmill) and talked with her. She listened to everything that I had to say (which was a lot) and then went on to reassure me and share with me a similar story that had happened to them. Then she shared with me what was happening with them. I hung up the phone and immediately prayed for them and their family and then I thanked God for each of the people that had been placed in my path that day to help me. The clerk, the people on the phone, my husband, the worker at Chick-Fil-A who watched my computer while I went to the bathroom to throw up, and the lady who smiled at me in the parking lot when I walked into her car as she was backing up.
I am so glad I have God in my life because without Him I couldn't survive. It is just that plain. Without God, I am nothing and I have nothing. Without Him, I wouldn't get out of bed and go to work everyday. Without Him, I wouldn't be. I praise God for all that He has carried me through. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I was reminded that Shadrach, Meschach, and Abendigo (sorry about the spellings) had to endure the fire being the hottest it could ever be before God released them. They survived because of God and I know I will survive because of God.