My Christmas Thought

This is my favorite Christmas quote:

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them,"Fear not for behold I bring you good tidings of great joy which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger." And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host singing, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace, good will toward men."

Enough said.

My Appreciation for What I Have

I went out to the store today. Yuck!!! It was crowded and people were everywhere. One advantage was that I got to see people and how they treat each other. Mainly, how spouses treated each other. I took a step back and realized one thing.
I am an extremely lucky woman. I know that I whine and complain because I can't travel or spend money like I want to, when I want to but you know what? So what. No one else would ever have put up with me for this long unless they really and truly loved me. Jeff Pipes is the only man I know that can do that. He may roll his eyes from time to time, sarcastically answer me, remind me of the one I don't want to be in an not so subtle way, but he really and truly loves me.
He has had to put up with a heck of a lot from my stupidity over the last 20+ years. He continues to remain faithful and strong even through it all. He comforts me, sympathizes with me, keeps me in line financially (thank you Jesus for that!), and supports me even if it isn't the most solid decision. He listens to me when he is totally exhausted and he allows me to get my 20,000 words a day out that I have this need to get out all at once when he gets home (patience of Job, I'm telling you).
During our Experiencing God class, we had to come up with similarities and differences with our spouses. The differences was easy. Mainly, because we are almost opposites in a lot of things. The similarities were harder. During class discussion, even our preacher's wife admitted that it had been a hard assignment. She put into words what we had all thought and that is we as spouses have grown into similarities together. Meaning that the longer we are married the more we tend to have in common just being around each other. (Side note--I challenge you to make a list of similarities and differences between you and your spouse. Not as easy as it sounds.)
I love my husband more than almost anything and as I stepped back this week I realized that I hadn't really shown him that. I have allowed my "feelings" to get into the way of what I have. I have all I need right here. If it is the only "resolution" I make this year, it will be that I focus more on him than on me. He deserves it.
Before anyone says that I am trying to get on his good side, think again. I just realized that I am a lucky, lucky woman and I am appreciative of what I have. So there :P!

Today is my 100th post. It is an accomplishment for me. I really didn't think I would do it this year. It is so exciting!
Okay, so eyes wide open. I was ready for today. Satan tried but I am pretty sure that I handled it well. I was praying on the way home tonight and I was thanking God for blessing us this year for the holidays. It has been a hard road. Jeff has us on a plan to get us out of debt but it leaves the budget really tight. One of the things we are trying to recover from is all my dental work from this past year. Tonight, my oldest son announces that he has a tooth that is hurting and upon looking at it with just a flashlight, it appears that at the very least, he has a cavity but where it is there could be the possibility of a needed root canal. Sigh.... I will make the appointment tomorrow and keep praying for a miracle. I am praying that it is just a simple tooth cleaning that is needed.
I am bound and determined to be happy this holiday season. God does bring the darkness, He brings the joy. If I allow satan to have the pleasure of darkening my life then he has been successful and by durn it! I will not allow that to happen. I want the joy that God provides and I want to be in the light and I will fight for that! It is totally worth fighting for! God's word says that we need to pray against the darkness and I am doing just that.
This is a joyous season and I am determined to celebrate it all the way!!!! So celebrate with me this holiday season (that and the fact that this is my 100th post) :D

The Attack

After doing some things that God told me I had to do, I knew that it wouldn't be long before satan attacked. Oh, he was sneaky though. I was prepared all week. Then on Saturday I let my guard down. We had rehearsal for our musical and during that time we prayed for several people. The musical had such a powerful message and I have been humming the songs all week. I got out to my car and that is when it all started. I realized I needed gas and had no money. I scrounged around and God blessed me with enough change to get 2 gallons of gas. I got home to find the boys having attitude. I hadn't bought them lunch so they had to make a sandwich. They were more than a little mad at me and they were being rude, surly, and annoying. I went to my room. I received an email from a friend whose husband had surprised her with a trip for Christmas. All their kids are in college and she and her husband were going to be alone at Christmas so he took her to Colorado. I just sat on my bed and bawled. Then I got mad. Then I got an attitude. Then I cried again.
I realized somewhere through the last crying jag that satan had succeeded in penetrating through and had attacked at my most vulnerable places. I was in the midst of typing a post for my blog and halfway through I realized that it was just a large gripe session in which I was slam dunking all the guys in my house. I deleted it. I did spend some time praying about my attitude and how I felt. I knew that I could not sing or sign in the musical on Sunday with this hanging on me.
I was still a bit tearful when I talked with my best friend this morning and she said a quick prayer for me. As we did the musical "God Speaks" I really listened to the words of the musical and let them wash over me. I am better tonight but I know that satan is not done and that I need to realize that the "bad" things that are happening are not God's doing but satan striking back at what I am doing. Sigh....This constant battle tires you out but is necessary for us to grow to depend totally and completely on God.

Random Things

This blog is a conglomeration of various thoughts and such.
First let me start by saying thanks for the prayers and thoughts concerning my last post. I did follow what God laid on my heart and the funny thing about it all is that the person I had to apologize to is now puzzled as to what I am up to. I will call her C. C. told someone else that she figured that I was mad about all that had happened and yet I came and apologized to her. I am smiling as I write this because I like the way God turned this all around. I ended up having a good week and I believe that it is because I did what I was suppose to.
Today we got out for the holidays. It is such a good feeling. 16 days of rest and relaxation. HAHAHA!!!! I have choir rehearsal for the Cantata on Sunday, the Cantata on Sunday, cleaning and more cleaning of my house, baking, grocery shopping, Christmas with family, New Year's plans, and family reunion. It will be a whirlwind tour of holiday fun. :D
I encourage you all to go see the movie "Blind Side". When we decided to go see it, I was like, "Great another movie about sports. Yippee." Not even close. I laughed, cried, and cheered with the rest of the crowd in the theater. This movie is great!! I don't normally promote things like this on the blog but it was so worth it.
I am debating about putting up curtains at my house. We put up some on the side where the sun comes in but I gave up some of my views. It looks goofy with just these two windows having curtains. I need alternative ideas because I love the openness that our windows give our house. I am hoping that I might can convince my husband's older sister to help me make something to put on the windows while she is here. Hint, hint, hint....
I think I have emptied out my brain for now. Check back later to see what else I have to say. You know me, I have to get my 20,000 words out a day and this is about the only to do that. :D

The Right Fellowship

We have been doing Experiencing God on Sunday nights at church. Wait...let me restate that. We are suppose to have been doing Experiencing God. There are weeks when I would forget or plan to do it and just ran out of time.
All that is to say that this week I did do my lessons. I am really glad that I did. The session this week was on koninonia (not sure this is the right spelling) or fellowship. One thing that stood out to me was that the Bible says that if we have strife or hate against someone then we are lying if we say we are in a right fellowship with God. (In case you have never done Experiencing God, the study asks questions as well as scriptures and life stories). During this lesson, we were asked if there was someone we needed to right things with. I had to admit that there was.
I have been having problems with someone at work and for the most part I have considered this person the problem. Reality is that I am the problem according to scripture because I have not asked for forgiveness for my ugly attitude and snottiness towards this person. Yes, this person hurt my feelings and said some untruthful things against me but I have continued to harbor anger and rude feelings toward this person.
God spoke to me and I know that I will have to go to this person and ask their forgiveness and apologize for my behavior. I have to be prepared that this person may or may not receive it. I did go to someone this morning and ask their forgiveness because I felt like I had treated them rudely and they told me that they accepted my apology but they never said they forgave me. I wanted to go and fix that but God made it clear that He was in control and I did what He asked and now He has to be allowed to work. I cannot make this person like me or forgive me. I apologized like God asked me to and now I need to make sure that I follow through and treat this person with kindness and love like God does with us.
Tomorrow will be a little rough because I know that I will have to swallow my pride and do what I know is right. I have been praying for God to soften their heart and that they will receive the apology in the manner it is given.
I truly believe that this strife is a large part of why I have struggled this year. I know that Satan is steaming mad that I am doing what God is asking of me and Satan retaliates against us when we follow God's bidding. I will just have to bone up on the word and on my prayer time.
I want to be in the right fellowship with God and experience the complete joy and freedom that God assures us will be ours when we do what He asks.

My Baking Spree

I wish my baking looked like this. I hope to post pictures of my recent baking spree. You see when I get overly stressed I bake. Either that or I clean. Tonight, I needed to bake. I made homemade bread, pumpkin bread, 3 in 1 cookies, and a chocolate pound cake.
I still feel like I could continue to bake but I ran out of flour and eggs. I am hoping to continue baking this weekend. I love to bake. I am not much of a cook but I can bake. I am partial to cakes, breads, and cookies. I have tried pies but it was as my son says, "epic fail". I would love to have my baking look like this picture. Someday I will hope to do that. Funny thing about all this baking is that I bake it but I rarely eat it. I give it away usually. I will probably give away the pumpkin bread. The guys will eat the cookies and cake. Right now there isn't much bread left. What can I say? The guys really like it when I get into moods like this. It is so nice to be wanted. They just want me for my "buns". HAHA!!!!

What I Have Been Thinking About

I have been thinking a lot lately. I know, I hear several people shaking their heads and laughing hysterically about that thought. I do think. A lot. I know that a lot of people think I am a fluff head about a lot of things and maybe I am. I have quirky interests. I know weird things. Okay, one thing weird is that I remember phone numbers. People give me their phone number and I tend to remember it. I have always done that. I like to research things. I like to find out all that I can about certain subjects. I am an inquisitive person.
I like to change things up pretty often. I move things around and add variety in my life. I love to change colors around the house. Like I said, I like variety. I guess the reason that I like these changes and inquiries is because it keeps me from becoming bored. I do not like boredom. I don't sit still well in a manner of speaking. I never have.
So, what have I been thinking about lately, besides a lot of things? Actually, the more I think about that question, the more I think the answer is I have been giving into the "pity party" mode. I know I wrote about Christmas lately and that truly is something I deal with every year but lately, I have been having a really huge pity party. I want to travel and do exciting things but that does not appear to be in my future for a long while, if at all. So, I get down and have this pity party. I start thinking about all I am missing and what I haven't experienced and well...instant pity party.
So, I have decided that I am going to add some color to my life and make some changes. They may or may not be changes that everyone agrees with but it is my changes not theirs. It is time. Time to move forward. No more pity party for now.

Tis the season

I want to start this post with a disclaimer. I am writing to write and just expressing myself. My thoughts are strictly mine. I am not trying to depress anyone but this is not very upbeat. It is just me.

I am not sure why, but this time of year brings out the worse case of melancholy ever. Even though I try as hard as I can I find myself slipping down the path every year. This year I told my husband that I was thinking about not putting up the Christmas tree due to lack of space, etc. He, of course, was fine with this because it means he won't have to wrestle with the tree and lights. Now, I am wondering if that is such a wise idea. I think I want the tree, the lights, the decorations just so that I stay out of the doldrums.
Part of the reason that I find myself in this place is because....well, because of family. I love the family. Don't get me wrong. The deal is my brother and his family go spend Christmas Day with her family so we always end up doing Christmas on Christmas Eve when we are there. I understand that this is their tradition. Jeff's younger sister and her family spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with his family because again that is their tradition. Jeff's older sister and her family come in and we all get together at that time but it is usually after Christmas.

I have tried to figure out a way for my family to start doing something on Christmas Day so that we have a tradition instead of being a leftover at my parents or at his parents. It doesn't seem to be working. I definitely feel on the outside looking in.

Maybe someday I will finally make it through the holidays without the melancholy and doldrums. I keep remembering that Jesus is my focus and that helps tons.

Christmastime is here.

After everyone goes to bed at night, I have started watching my Christmas movies. If you don't know us then let me say that we have a lot of DVDs. We don't rent. We find them really cheap and buy them. I estimate that we have at least 30-40 Christmas movies alone. In that figure, is 5-6 different versions of A Christmas Carol. Below are a few of the movies I am going to be watching over the next few weeks.

1. The Waltons-A Homecoming
2. Little House on the Prairie (Season 8) The Christmas They Never Forgot
3. The Holiday
4. The Last Holiday
5. Miracle on 34th Street
6. White Christmas
7. The Bells of St Mary's
8. Muppet Christmas Carol
9. An American Christmas Carol
10.Charlie Brown Christmas
11. A Christmas Carol (starring Patrick Stewart)
12.Christmas Episode of the Partridge Family
13. Christmas Episode of the Waltons (There were 3 different ones)
14. The Grinch Who Stole Christmas
15. Elf

Like I said, these are just a few. I have to get into the closet and see what else I have. I will keep you updated on ones I add to the list. Feel free to leave me the names of some of your favorites.