Tis the season

I want to start this post with a disclaimer. I am writing to write and just expressing myself. My thoughts are strictly mine. I am not trying to depress anyone but this is not very upbeat. It is just me.

I am not sure why, but this time of year brings out the worse case of melancholy ever. Even though I try as hard as I can I find myself slipping down the path every year. This year I told my husband that I was thinking about not putting up the Christmas tree due to lack of space, etc. He, of course, was fine with this because it means he won't have to wrestle with the tree and lights. Now, I am wondering if that is such a wise idea. I think I want the tree, the lights, the decorations just so that I stay out of the doldrums.
Part of the reason that I find myself in this place is because....well, because of family. I love the family. Don't get me wrong. The deal is my brother and his family go spend Christmas Day with her family so we always end up doing Christmas on Christmas Eve when we are there. I understand that this is their tradition. Jeff's younger sister and her family spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with his family because again that is their tradition. Jeff's older sister and her family come in and we all get together at that time but it is usually after Christmas.

I have tried to figure out a way for my family to start doing something on Christmas Day so that we have a tradition instead of being a leftover at my parents or at his parents. It doesn't seem to be working. I definitely feel on the outside looking in.

Maybe someday I will finally make it through the holidays without the melancholy and doldrums. I keep remembering that Jesus is my focus and that helps tons.