The Right Fellowship

We have been doing Experiencing God on Sunday nights at church. Wait...let me restate that. We are suppose to have been doing Experiencing God. There are weeks when I would forget or plan to do it and just ran out of time.
All that is to say that this week I did do my lessons. I am really glad that I did. The session this week was on koninonia (not sure this is the right spelling) or fellowship. One thing that stood out to me was that the Bible says that if we have strife or hate against someone then we are lying if we say we are in a right fellowship with God. (In case you have never done Experiencing God, the study asks questions as well as scriptures and life stories). During this lesson, we were asked if there was someone we needed to right things with. I had to admit that there was.
I have been having problems with someone at work and for the most part I have considered this person the problem. Reality is that I am the problem according to scripture because I have not asked for forgiveness for my ugly attitude and snottiness towards this person. Yes, this person hurt my feelings and said some untruthful things against me but I have continued to harbor anger and rude feelings toward this person.
God spoke to me and I know that I will have to go to this person and ask their forgiveness and apologize for my behavior. I have to be prepared that this person may or may not receive it. I did go to someone this morning and ask their forgiveness because I felt like I had treated them rudely and they told me that they accepted my apology but they never said they forgave me. I wanted to go and fix that but God made it clear that He was in control and I did what He asked and now He has to be allowed to work. I cannot make this person like me or forgive me. I apologized like God asked me to and now I need to make sure that I follow through and treat this person with kindness and love like God does with us.
Tomorrow will be a little rough because I know that I will have to swallow my pride and do what I know is right. I have been praying for God to soften their heart and that they will receive the apology in the manner it is given.
I truly believe that this strife is a large part of why I have struggled this year. I know that Satan is steaming mad that I am doing what God is asking of me and Satan retaliates against us when we follow God's bidding. I will just have to bone up on the word and on my prayer time.
I want to be in the right fellowship with God and experience the complete joy and freedom that God assures us will be ours when we do what He asks.