I Know What I Know

I am not the only one but since Mom Pipes has died, I have really struggled. I miss calling her and gleaning from her wisdom and her peaceful nature. On Friday afternoon, I decided to go to the cemetery and visit her grave. I thought I was ready. I was so wrong. I got there and all I could do was cry. There was someone else in the cemetery so my conversation with Mom Pipes was held internally for a while. After a couple of minutes, the young girl that was there, came over, placed a rose on Mom's grave and gave me a bear hug. She had been crying and we just stood there for a minute together. Two strangers grieving together. We didn't say a word to each other. Then she left. After she was gone, I started talking to Mom.
I talked with her about the things that I had going on with my job, things at home, things with the boys, things with AC and SE, and things in general. I told her how much I missed her and how I wished that I could talk to her again. I told her that I just wished that there was a way for her to let me know that it would all be okay. I left soon after and went home.
Today, I got home and got the mail. I started crying immediately. The only piece of mail was a card that said, "You have been given a gift of "Angel" magazine from Jerry Pipes. Happy Holidays." Mom has been getting this magazine for me for several years. We have discussed articles in it and laughed over some things in it. She loved Angels and she really liked this magazine. She knew that I liked this magazine as well. Normally, I get a card about the renewal of this magazine in December. This past December, I didn't get the card. I didn't worry too much about it with budgets being tight and all. But today, out of the blue, here was this card.
For me, it was her way of letting me know that it was all going to be okay. I know it is silly but I really believe that this was my little sign from Mom. I know that God is control but I also believe that Mom is up there watching all of us and praying for us and cheering us on. Occasionally, I think that there are signs to let us know this. For that I am glad.