I am going to do something that I rarely do. I am going to be an open book. I am going to be completely and brutally honest without reservation. I am tired. I am worn out. I am mentally, physically, and emotionally done. I will admit that I am stressed right now. Every year as a teacher, I wait for the school board to decide whether I will have a contract for the following year. I have been blessed to have been working in the same district. I am finishing my 10th year. I work as hard as I can to teach the kids and do the best I can at my job but every year, I worry that maybe my best isn't good enough. It is a flaw. I worry about things I have no control over.
You see, I have a job I like. I love to teach kids. I love working with them and watching them excel and the ah-ha moments. I like being creative in helping the kids to learn concepts. I want them to be whatever they dream of becoming. I know that they can achieve amazing and wonderful things. That is my goal for them.
I have once again managed to worry myself into this tired, worn out state. I have given into this worry instead of getting on my knees and giving it to the Lord. He is the only one who can take care of things and the only one who knows the answer to what lies ahead for me. So, tonight instead of making myself totally and completely sick, I am dumping this worry at God's feet. I can't do a thing about the decisions that are being made. I can't make the decisions. I can't do anything but my best. If I am giving my best then I am doing what God placed me here to do. I love working at this little town's school and I love the kids I work with. Now, I must give it to the Lord and get some rest.
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