My Christmas Thought

This is my favorite Christmas quote:

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them,"Fear not for behold I bring you good tidings of great joy which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger." And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host singing, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace, good will toward men."

Enough said.

My Appreciation for What I Have

I went out to the store today. Yuck!!! It was crowded and people were everywhere. One advantage was that I got to see people and how they treat each other. Mainly, how spouses treated each other. I took a step back and realized one thing.
I am an extremely lucky woman. I know that I whine and complain because I can't travel or spend money like I want to, when I want to but you know what? So what. No one else would ever have put up with me for this long unless they really and truly loved me. Jeff Pipes is the only man I know that can do that. He may roll his eyes from time to time, sarcastically answer me, remind me of the one I don't want to be in an not so subtle way, but he really and truly loves me.
He has had to put up with a heck of a lot from my stupidity over the last 20+ years. He continues to remain faithful and strong even through it all. He comforts me, sympathizes with me, keeps me in line financially (thank you Jesus for that!), and supports me even if it isn't the most solid decision. He listens to me when he is totally exhausted and he allows me to get my 20,000 words a day out that I have this need to get out all at once when he gets home (patience of Job, I'm telling you).
During our Experiencing God class, we had to come up with similarities and differences with our spouses. The differences was easy. Mainly, because we are almost opposites in a lot of things. The similarities were harder. During class discussion, even our preacher's wife admitted that it had been a hard assignment. She put into words what we had all thought and that is we as spouses have grown into similarities together. Meaning that the longer we are married the more we tend to have in common just being around each other. (Side note--I challenge you to make a list of similarities and differences between you and your spouse. Not as easy as it sounds.)
I love my husband more than almost anything and as I stepped back this week I realized that I hadn't really shown him that. I have allowed my "feelings" to get into the way of what I have. I have all I need right here. If it is the only "resolution" I make this year, it will be that I focus more on him than on me. He deserves it.
Before anyone says that I am trying to get on his good side, think again. I just realized that I am a lucky, lucky woman and I am appreciative of what I have. So there :P!

Today is my 100th post. It is an accomplishment for me. I really didn't think I would do it this year. It is so exciting!
Okay, so eyes wide open. I was ready for today. Satan tried but I am pretty sure that I handled it well. I was praying on the way home tonight and I was thanking God for blessing us this year for the holidays. It has been a hard road. Jeff has us on a plan to get us out of debt but it leaves the budget really tight. One of the things we are trying to recover from is all my dental work from this past year. Tonight, my oldest son announces that he has a tooth that is hurting and upon looking at it with just a flashlight, it appears that at the very least, he has a cavity but where it is there could be the possibility of a needed root canal. Sigh.... I will make the appointment tomorrow and keep praying for a miracle. I am praying that it is just a simple tooth cleaning that is needed.
I am bound and determined to be happy this holiday season. God does bring the darkness, He brings the joy. If I allow satan to have the pleasure of darkening my life then he has been successful and by durn it! I will not allow that to happen. I want the joy that God provides and I want to be in the light and I will fight for that! It is totally worth fighting for! God's word says that we need to pray against the darkness and I am doing just that.
This is a joyous season and I am determined to celebrate it all the way!!!! So celebrate with me this holiday season (that and the fact that this is my 100th post) :D

The Attack

After doing some things that God told me I had to do, I knew that it wouldn't be long before satan attacked. Oh, he was sneaky though. I was prepared all week. Then on Saturday I let my guard down. We had rehearsal for our musical and during that time we prayed for several people. The musical had such a powerful message and I have been humming the songs all week. I got out to my car and that is when it all started. I realized I needed gas and had no money. I scrounged around and God blessed me with enough change to get 2 gallons of gas. I got home to find the boys having attitude. I hadn't bought them lunch so they had to make a sandwich. They were more than a little mad at me and they were being rude, surly, and annoying. I went to my room. I received an email from a friend whose husband had surprised her with a trip for Christmas. All their kids are in college and she and her husband were going to be alone at Christmas so he took her to Colorado. I just sat on my bed and bawled. Then I got mad. Then I got an attitude. Then I cried again.
I realized somewhere through the last crying jag that satan had succeeded in penetrating through and had attacked at my most vulnerable places. I was in the midst of typing a post for my blog and halfway through I realized that it was just a large gripe session in which I was slam dunking all the guys in my house. I deleted it. I did spend some time praying about my attitude and how I felt. I knew that I could not sing or sign in the musical on Sunday with this hanging on me.
I was still a bit tearful when I talked with my best friend this morning and she said a quick prayer for me. As we did the musical "God Speaks" I really listened to the words of the musical and let them wash over me. I am better tonight but I know that satan is not done and that I need to realize that the "bad" things that are happening are not God's doing but satan striking back at what I am doing. Sigh....This constant battle tires you out but is necessary for us to grow to depend totally and completely on God.

Random Things

This blog is a conglomeration of various thoughts and such.
First let me start by saying thanks for the prayers and thoughts concerning my last post. I did follow what God laid on my heart and the funny thing about it all is that the person I had to apologize to is now puzzled as to what I am up to. I will call her C. C. told someone else that she figured that I was mad about all that had happened and yet I came and apologized to her. I am smiling as I write this because I like the way God turned this all around. I ended up having a good week and I believe that it is because I did what I was suppose to.
Today we got out for the holidays. It is such a good feeling. 16 days of rest and relaxation. HAHAHA!!!! I have choir rehearsal for the Cantata on Sunday, the Cantata on Sunday, cleaning and more cleaning of my house, baking, grocery shopping, Christmas with family, New Year's plans, and family reunion. It will be a whirlwind tour of holiday fun. :D
I encourage you all to go see the movie "Blind Side". When we decided to go see it, I was like, "Great another movie about sports. Yippee." Not even close. I laughed, cried, and cheered with the rest of the crowd in the theater. This movie is great!! I don't normally promote things like this on the blog but it was so worth it.
I am debating about putting up curtains at my house. We put up some on the side where the sun comes in but I gave up some of my views. It looks goofy with just these two windows having curtains. I need alternative ideas because I love the openness that our windows give our house. I am hoping that I might can convince my husband's older sister to help me make something to put on the windows while she is here. Hint, hint, hint....
I think I have emptied out my brain for now. Check back later to see what else I have to say. You know me, I have to get my 20,000 words out a day and this is about the only to do that. :D

The Right Fellowship

We have been doing Experiencing God on Sunday nights at church. Wait...let me restate that. We are suppose to have been doing Experiencing God. There are weeks when I would forget or plan to do it and just ran out of time.
All that is to say that this week I did do my lessons. I am really glad that I did. The session this week was on koninonia (not sure this is the right spelling) or fellowship. One thing that stood out to me was that the Bible says that if we have strife or hate against someone then we are lying if we say we are in a right fellowship with God. (In case you have never done Experiencing God, the study asks questions as well as scriptures and life stories). During this lesson, we were asked if there was someone we needed to right things with. I had to admit that there was.
I have been having problems with someone at work and for the most part I have considered this person the problem. Reality is that I am the problem according to scripture because I have not asked for forgiveness for my ugly attitude and snottiness towards this person. Yes, this person hurt my feelings and said some untruthful things against me but I have continued to harbor anger and rude feelings toward this person.
God spoke to me and I know that I will have to go to this person and ask their forgiveness and apologize for my behavior. I have to be prepared that this person may or may not receive it. I did go to someone this morning and ask their forgiveness because I felt like I had treated them rudely and they told me that they accepted my apology but they never said they forgave me. I wanted to go and fix that but God made it clear that He was in control and I did what He asked and now He has to be allowed to work. I cannot make this person like me or forgive me. I apologized like God asked me to and now I need to make sure that I follow through and treat this person with kindness and love like God does with us.
Tomorrow will be a little rough because I know that I will have to swallow my pride and do what I know is right. I have been praying for God to soften their heart and that they will receive the apology in the manner it is given.
I truly believe that this strife is a large part of why I have struggled this year. I know that Satan is steaming mad that I am doing what God is asking of me and Satan retaliates against us when we follow God's bidding. I will just have to bone up on the word and on my prayer time.
I want to be in the right fellowship with God and experience the complete joy and freedom that God assures us will be ours when we do what He asks.

My Baking Spree

I wish my baking looked like this. I hope to post pictures of my recent baking spree. You see when I get overly stressed I bake. Either that or I clean. Tonight, I needed to bake. I made homemade bread, pumpkin bread, 3 in 1 cookies, and a chocolate pound cake.
I still feel like I could continue to bake but I ran out of flour and eggs. I am hoping to continue baking this weekend. I love to bake. I am not much of a cook but I can bake. I am partial to cakes, breads, and cookies. I have tried pies but it was as my son says, "epic fail". I would love to have my baking look like this picture. Someday I will hope to do that. Funny thing about all this baking is that I bake it but I rarely eat it. I give it away usually. I will probably give away the pumpkin bread. The guys will eat the cookies and cake. Right now there isn't much bread left. What can I say? The guys really like it when I get into moods like this. It is so nice to be wanted. They just want me for my "buns". HAHA!!!!

What I Have Been Thinking About

I have been thinking a lot lately. I know, I hear several people shaking their heads and laughing hysterically about that thought. I do think. A lot. I know that a lot of people think I am a fluff head about a lot of things and maybe I am. I have quirky interests. I know weird things. Okay, one thing weird is that I remember phone numbers. People give me their phone number and I tend to remember it. I have always done that. I like to research things. I like to find out all that I can about certain subjects. I am an inquisitive person.
I like to change things up pretty often. I move things around and add variety in my life. I love to change colors around the house. Like I said, I like variety. I guess the reason that I like these changes and inquiries is because it keeps me from becoming bored. I do not like boredom. I don't sit still well in a manner of speaking. I never have.
So, what have I been thinking about lately, besides a lot of things? Actually, the more I think about that question, the more I think the answer is I have been giving into the "pity party" mode. I know I wrote about Christmas lately and that truly is something I deal with every year but lately, I have been having a really huge pity party. I want to travel and do exciting things but that does not appear to be in my future for a long while, if at all. So, I get down and have this pity party. I start thinking about all I am missing and what I haven't experienced and well...instant pity party.
So, I have decided that I am going to add some color to my life and make some changes. They may or may not be changes that everyone agrees with but it is my changes not theirs. It is time. Time to move forward. No more pity party for now.

Tis the season

I want to start this post with a disclaimer. I am writing to write and just expressing myself. My thoughts are strictly mine. I am not trying to depress anyone but this is not very upbeat. It is just me.

I am not sure why, but this time of year brings out the worse case of melancholy ever. Even though I try as hard as I can I find myself slipping down the path every year. This year I told my husband that I was thinking about not putting up the Christmas tree due to lack of space, etc. He, of course, was fine with this because it means he won't have to wrestle with the tree and lights. Now, I am wondering if that is such a wise idea. I think I want the tree, the lights, the decorations just so that I stay out of the doldrums.
Part of the reason that I find myself in this place is because....well, because of family. I love the family. Don't get me wrong. The deal is my brother and his family go spend Christmas Day with her family so we always end up doing Christmas on Christmas Eve when we are there. I understand that this is their tradition. Jeff's younger sister and her family spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with his family because again that is their tradition. Jeff's older sister and her family come in and we all get together at that time but it is usually after Christmas.

I have tried to figure out a way for my family to start doing something on Christmas Day so that we have a tradition instead of being a leftover at my parents or at his parents. It doesn't seem to be working. I definitely feel on the outside looking in.

Maybe someday I will finally make it through the holidays without the melancholy and doldrums. I keep remembering that Jesus is my focus and that helps tons.

Christmastime is here.

After everyone goes to bed at night, I have started watching my Christmas movies. If you don't know us then let me say that we have a lot of DVDs. We don't rent. We find them really cheap and buy them. I estimate that we have at least 30-40 Christmas movies alone. In that figure, is 5-6 different versions of A Christmas Carol. Below are a few of the movies I am going to be watching over the next few weeks.

1. The Waltons-A Homecoming
2. Little House on the Prairie (Season 8) The Christmas They Never Forgot
3. The Holiday
4. The Last Holiday
5. Miracle on 34th Street
6. White Christmas
7. The Bells of St Mary's
8. Muppet Christmas Carol
9. An American Christmas Carol
10.Charlie Brown Christmas
11. A Christmas Carol (starring Patrick Stewart)
12.Christmas Episode of the Partridge Family
13. Christmas Episode of the Waltons (There were 3 different ones)
14. The Grinch Who Stole Christmas
15. Elf

Like I said, these are just a few. I have to get into the closet and see what else I have. I will keep you updated on ones I add to the list. Feel free to leave me the names of some of your favorites.

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 29 and 30

I got behind and didn't post anything on the 29th so I am combining the last two together. As we enter another season, I want to say that I am thankful for AC allowing me to participate in this event. I am also thankful for the new blog buddies I have discovered. You are all so sweet and kind. Maybe someday I will have the fortune of meeting you. Below is the words to a song from our musical we will be doing for Christmas but it has spoken volumes to my heart so much so that I feel the need to share.

Ancient words from long before were given to us by our Lord and given time, time will prove ancient words are ever true.
The Lord himself shall give you sign. Behold a virgin shall conceive and bear a Son and his name shall be called IMMANUEL.
You Bethlehem, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come the One to me who shall be the ruler over Israel.
We will trust. We will believe. Good news that comes through the centuries!
For unto us, a child is born, unto us a Son is given and the government shall be upon His shoulders and His name shall be called:
WONDERFUL!! COUNSELOR!! THE MIGHTY GOD!! THE EVERLASTING FATHER!! THE PRINCE OF PEACE!!

May these days of Thanksgiving become days of Celebration for you and your family.

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 28

I am thankful for my nieces and nephews/nephew-in-law. They call me "Aunt Wee" and they come in to wherever I am wanting hugs, smushies, and kisses. I absolutely love that!!! I want desperately to spoil all of them all the time but unfortunately, I can't always do that. I try to spend time with them and shower them with love and affection. I brag on them all the time to whoever will listen.
They are bright spots in my life and they make me feel special. I love each and every one of their personalities and even their quirks. They are absolutely, positively the best nieces and nephews/nephew-in-law ever.

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 27

Today I am thankful for time. Time to spend with my guys. Time to spend just relaxing and not stressing over work or the such. Time to take leisurely walks out in the pasture. Time to stop and just "smell the roses". Today was one of the best days that I can remember in a long time. There was no agenda, no rushing around, nothing. My oldest and I went shopping this morning and didn't rush around. We didn't even get up early. Then the whole family went out together and once home, the boys played together and I was able to curl up on the couch with the love of my life to watch an old movie ("Bad Day at Black Rock") and just soak it all up. It is rare in our lives these days that we have this time. It is rare that we are all together without a schedule dictating every minute. It is rare that my oldest is home and my husband is off at the same time. So today, I am totally thankful for time.

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 26

Today I am thankful for God answering prayers. He has answered my prayers more than once and continues to answer my prayers daily. From the simple and mundane prayers to the extensive and detailed. The blessings that my family has received are more than I can even begin to count. I am so glad that I believe and that I am allowed the freedom to believe in God. Without Him in my life I would be either non-existant or such a messed up mess. I thank God for saving me and for taking on all my junk. I thank Him for allowing me to come to Him for anything and everything. I thank God for caring more about me than anyone ever could. I thank God for the spiritual gifts He has given me. I thank God for the friends and family He has put into my life. I thank God over and over. My thanks to God is endless just as His love for us is.
I pray that your Thanksgiving Day is blessed and fulfilled with love, family, friends, and prayers.

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 25

Today I am thankful for a home to head back to. We spent 18 years in the old family home and I loved the history and the fact that my kids were the 6th generation to live there but.... It was close to 90-100 years old and needed so much work. Work we couldn't afford to do while we lived there. We made the painful decision three years ago to build our dream home a mile away and with the blessing of the family we sold the old home. We had a great builder and great weather and so the house was built in 2 1/2 months. I love my new home! I still miss things about the old place but I really love my "new" home. Even now we refer to it as the new house.
I love the fact that my husband designed the house and that our builder let us be totally and completely involved in every aspect of the house building. We scraped floors (that is a whole different story) and did the final clean up in exchange for some minor upgrades.
The atmosphere in the house is one of fellowship, love, happiness, and togetherness. We find ourselves wanting to stay at home more and wanting to just hang out together. I love it! I love having all the family over and having the kids' friends over. It is the perfect home.

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 24

Today I am rerunning one of my posts because I am thankful for my grandparents. They were a huge part of my life and such an influence for me.
I absolutely loved my grandmother and my granddaddy. They were such a huge part of my upbringing. I remember when I would get sick, I would go stay with my grandparents. My grandmother would make up the sofa bed so that I could lay down and watch Sesame Street, Electric Company, and Captain Kangaroo. Once these shows were over then if I was feeling a bit better she would make the sofa back up again and I would lay on the sofa the rest of the day.
Now my grandmother was not a huge TV watcher but every day at 1230pm right after the noon day news, As the World Turns came on. Everything in the house came to a stop so that my grandmother could watch that show. It was on for an hour and she would stop what she was doing, watch the show, and crochet. Other than Lawrence Welk on Saturday evenings I don't recall her watching TV. She is the one who taught me to play piano. I remember she would go every other Saturday to the Liechtenstein's department store in downtown Corpus to get her hair done. While she did that we all hung out in the mezzanine area watching people. I loved those days.
My granddaddy did a lot but I am not too sure what all he did now that I think about it. I know he read a lot and he studied on things that interested him. At one time he was Pre-Med and at another time he was Pre-Law. He was retired when I was born. I know that he spent a lot of time with me. He was my true blue hero the day the tarantula incident happened. He never thought my questions or stories were stupid. About the only time I ever saw him mad was the day it snowed (I was 5) and I built my snowman against his metal garage door. It refroze and he couldn't get into the garage where his car was. He had an appointment and had to call and reschedule because of the snowman. He encouraged me to go down my own path and to be independent but not too independent.
Every year I find myself wishing I had my grandparents there one more time.
.

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 23

Monday was my daddy's 66th birthday. My daddy over the years has been my biggest supporter in a lot of what I have done over my life. He has managed to make it to all of my recitals and concerts.
One thing that I will always remember him for is when I went to college. He was sadden when I left for college. I look back now and I think that actually he was so disappointed that I was so happy to be leaving. (I was like my oldest son, I couldn't wait to go to college and I rarely went home.) My daddy would send me flowers for my birthday. He knew that my favorite kind of rose was, at that time, a blue rose which was rare. On my birthday I would receive a dozen red roses surrounding a single blue rose. The card held a message that my daddy told me over the years that was just something between the two of us. I continued to receive these flowers sometimes with a card and sometimes without until I had my first child.
My daddy let me know that it was now my husband's turn to take over that job. It sadden me but I understood that he was releasing me to grow up.
My daddy has bailed me out on more than one occasion and spoils me rotten at times and annoys me from time to time but he still cheers me on and lets me know he loves me.

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 22

Today I am thankful for my sisters-in-law. I have three of them but actually I consider them more sisters than in-laws. Each one of them holds a special place in my heart for different reasons.

AC has been my friend for over 20 years now. We met in college and I didn't even realize I was dating her brother until we were invited to dinner at her house one night. Our kids are only six months apart in age except she stopped at two and I went on for a third. She has listened to me and patiently guided me on more than one occasion with wisdom and prayer. She has shared recipes for food, crafts, and life. She makes me laugh and is a bright spot. She has taken time out to talk with me and give me advice just when I needed it most.

SE and I would sit on the phone together and watch MASH before I was married into the family. We have shared secrets, dreams, and ideas with each other. She is like the little sister I never had. Her babies are precious and I feel like they are part of me as well. I love them to death. She is so creative and loving and totally the picture of the perfect stay at home mom. She has it all together and even knows where she puts it. HA HA!!!! She may not know the grace and support that she has shown me but it has been there. She has treated me just like a sister and not like an in-law. That speaks volumes to me.

NL is my youngest sis-in-law. She was probably the one I had to adjust to more than any of them because she married my brother. I now understood how SE and AC might have felt. I think the first thing I said to her was "I have to be nice to you so there." She has been a blessing to my life. Over and over she has prayed for me and our family. She has stood in the gap for us when the struggles seemed overwhelming. She also has precious kids that I love. She has desire, drive, and dedication that I admire.

I have continued to be blessed by all of these ladies. I couldn't make it through without each of them there. I am truly thankful for them all. For pictures of them all, see Day 8 of this series.

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 21

My sister-in-law had no idea when she wrote her thankful segment today that I was also going to be writing about her parents. You see I have the most awesome in-laws in the world. I was blessed to have married a husband whose parents love you for who you are and not for who you think they want you to be. They welcomed me with open arms even when my husband first introduced me as "a friend".

They have been there for every one of my children's births, our ups and downs. They have stood by us when we made decisions that not everyone agreed with. They made sure our kids had special moments just for them. They kept our kids when we were struggling and needed someone to watch them. They have taken us and our kids on grandpa ventures and taught all of us more than I could ever imagine. They let our kids and even myself practice our creative cooking skills on them. They have blessed us over and over again.

Truly without them I honestly think that I would have thrown in the towel on so many things but they would talk to me, encourage me, and love me and it gave me the courage and strength to keep on going.

I hear people talk about their in-laws and how they are treated. I thank God every day that I have these two people in my life. They are the example that I want to be like. I pray every day that I am just like them when my kids marry.

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 20

Today, I experienced something different. Our family was invited to supper at the neighbor's house this evening. What was different is that this family is Mennonite. They dress differently than we do and they believe that kids do not speak unless spoken to. One thing they do well, is cook from scratch. We had homemade creamed corn, hash brown potatoes, roast, salad, and a wonderful apple pie. Apparently, the girls in the family made the meal.

I feel like I made a new friend tonight. The mom of the family and I decided that we are going to start walking in the evenings when we can. I know that I have friends from our church and around that I can share things with but I think this friendship is going to challenge me to really be on my toes regarding the Bible and my beliefs spiritually. The Mennonites believe similar to what we do but I know that they totally immerse them in the Word. I have been praying lately that God would give me the strength to be diligent about my quiet time and I believe that this is my answer.

I am thankful for my new found friend and the wonderful neighbors that God has placed in our lives.

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 19

I was talking to my boss today and explained how my sister-in-law had challenged us to blog about 30 days of Thanksgiving. She laughed and asked how I was doing with that. I told her that I had been doing well so far. There was one topic that we talked about and I have decided was worth sharing.

I am thankful that I am a woman. I love that God gave me that momma instinct that only women can have. I love that I can cry and relieve the stress. I love that I am desirable to my husband. I am thankful that I have the passion and desire for so many things. I love that my children at some point saw me as wonder woman, the best at everything I did for them, and the fixer of all problems. Honestly, I don't think I would have made a great guy so I am really glad that God made me a woman.

Today, I wish to end with a bit of my weird and twisted humor:

"I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let him forget he's a man" because "I will stand by my man" and all I ask is a little "R-E-S-P-E-C-T". "Cuz I'm a woman."

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 18

I am thankful for holiday/birthday traditions. Until I married my husband, I can only remember two traditional things that my family did. Every year we would go to the Art Museum that had been transformed into a Christmas tree forest of sorts. Different schools, clubs, etc. would decorate Christmas trees and they would be put on display for everyone to walk through and look at. I loved doing that. The other thing was that on the day of A&M /UT game we would pack up and go to the ranch so the men could go hunting. My granddaddy had attended UT and his brother had attended A&M so they decided instead of watching or listening to the game they would just go hunting together. We would all go. Just for the record, I am not someone who enjoys hunting.

When I married my husband, I knew that his family was extremely close and did a lot of things together. One thing that has never changed is how Thanksgiving and Christmas are celebrated. At Thanksgiving, everyone gathers early in the day at the grandparents house. The women start making preparations on the meal while the men and the kids do whatever it is that they do. Once the chicken and dressing (there was no turkey in this family) was cooking then the women would sit and visit while they crocheted, played cards or dominoes, or such. Soon the table would be set (back then we all fit around it, now we have to have a card table for the kids) and the food put on the table. We would gather around the table once the food was ready. Grandpa/Dad would bless the food and the feast would begin. We would laugh, visit, and eat. The whole while taking our time, not rushing, no televisions on, no external devices interfering with this time. Once everyone was stuffed, the kids would clear the table and then the clean up would begin. Once finished, then naps and visiting took place. That night leftovers were pulled out and eaten. It is a great time.

The only difference in Thanksgiving and Christmas is that after the meal at Christmas, the family would gather in the living room. The youngest child or designated child would hand out gifts one at a time. Everyone watches in anticipation as the person unwraps the gift. This is an all day affair. Again with no television or external devices. Just family.

Birthdays are celebrated with the family gathering for a meal. Whoever has the birthday chooses the menu and after the meal is eaten then the birthday person reads each and every card aloud. Every gift is opened and celebrated with all.

You see I love all these traditions because it tends to bring us all together for a while. Now that we all live apart, these traditions are even more important. I am just thankful that we are able to still have them.

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 17

I am thankful for the following:

The Lord is my shepherd means That is RELATIONSHIP
I shall not want means That is SUPPLY
He Maketh me to lie down in green pastures means That is REST
He leadeth me beside the still waters means That is REFRESHMENT
He restoreth my soul means That is HEALING
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness means That is GUIDANCE
For His name sake means That is PURPOSE
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death means That is TESTING
I will fear no evil means That is PROTECTION
For thou art with me means That is FAITHFULNESS
Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me means That is DISCIPLINE
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies That is HOPE
Thou annointest my head with oil means That's CONSECRATION
My cup runneth over means That is ABUNDANCE
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life That is BLESSING
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord means That is SECURITY
Forever means That is ETERNITY

This one passage has all these promises in it. How amazing is that!!!! Be blessed today.

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 16

I love my friends and am so thankful for them. In an earlier post, I talked about how I had melted down (yes, I am better now thanks for asking.:) ) On the night before I knew I was close to melting down so I texted three of my friends to pray and pray hard. I had immediate responses that they were all doing just that. I am so grateful for these prayer warriors. Without their prayers, I would have not made it through the things I needed to take care of calmly and composed.
I love my friends and am so glad God gave them to me.

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 15

Today I am thankful for time. Today we spent some time together at the Annual Model Train Show. We have been doing this since our oldest was about 2. Actually our youngest went to his first train show at the age of 6 days old. It is something we all kind of look forward to.

I was afraid that this was going to be the year that my husband and I would be the only ones going. When we mentioned it to the boys, though, they got excited.

I tried hard to get a good picture of the guys but they usually had their backs to me. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. I know that the boys are growing so fast and that time we get to spend with them is getting shorter so today I am extremely thankful for time.

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 14

Today I was blessed with a special date with my husband. We were on our way to the football game that our boys were playing at and he decided to detour along the way. We stopped at Hammond's BBQ for lunch. We have heard raving reviews about it so it was a planned stop. The food was good and filling. After we left there, I figured that we would just go on to the game. (Let me preface this entry by saying that that morning I had said that I would rather have all my teeth drilled out than go to this game. My husband got a wounded look on his face and said that he had planned to go. So I told him that was fine with me.) As we drove off, he suddenly turned towards downtown Glen Rose and stopped at the courthouse. He asked if I wanted to go shopping at any of the shops. I told him no, because I would want to buy and we couldn't afford it. I did find a nice older man who was selling tomatoes and jalapenos out of the back of his truck and bought some of those from him.

We left the courthouse and drove to this wonderfully hidden park called Big Rock Park. There we took some pictures of the creek, the rocks, and some people playing with their remote control cars in a rock climbing course--think off roading jeeps only small scale.

We eventually made it to the game and endured it. Then on the way home he took down a back road and told me stories that he had heard from his grandmama. It was a totally laid back trip but well worth it.

What really makes this special is that I have been in prayer about getting closer to my husband. With our lives going in so many directions, sometimes it feels like we don't connect anymore. We just are there. In talking with God, I had used a specific example of a date to the park and here it was. I was so grateful and thankful that God honored my request. I feel truly blessed.

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 13

Today was not one of my better days. I ended up sitting in my office and having one of those cries that lasts more than thirty seconds. After I finished up crying, I pulled myself together and got back on track. One of my students came in not long after that and I explained to her what she needed and all of the sudden she got up and gave me a really big hug. Then she looked at me and said, "Mrs. Pipes, are you okay? If you want to talk to someone, I am here for you." I almost cried again. I told her I was just having a bad day and it would be okay.

What really put things into perspective was that this child has Cerebral Palsy. She has physical and mental struggles daily. I watch her and her twin sister, who also has CP, deal with their disabilities. They do so with a smile on their face everyday. They never seem to get down and they look upon each challenge without fear. There is no self pity and they don't make excuses for themselves. They are willing to do what everyone else does and they do so with gusto.

Today, I am thankful for these two young girls and the inspiration that they give me.

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 12

I am thankful for night time. I love this time of day! I go outside and I can look up in the sky and see the amazing stars twinkling. The endless night sky lights up with millions of glistening, sparkling stars. Placed there by God just for us. How awesome is that!!

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 11

I am thankful for the veterans in my life. My Granddaddy Koenig served in the Korean War and my Daddy served in Vietnam. My uncle on my Daddy's side was in the Army until he retired several years ago.

These men fought so that we could have the freedom to eat what we wanted, go where we want to, where the clothes we want, shop, eat out, sing, dance, play sports, etc. The list could go on for a while. Along with thousand upon thousands of other men and women, these brave people helped to have a country that is free.

To quote one of my favorite songs:

"If tomorrow all the things were gone I'd worked for all my life, and I had to start again with just my children and my husband. I'd thank my lucky stars to be livin here today. Cause the flag still stands for freedom and they can't take that away. From the lakes of Minnesota to the hills of Tennessee, across the plains of Texas, from sea to shining sea. From Detroit down to Houston, and New York to LA. Well, there's pride in every American heart and it's time we stand and say:

I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free! And I won't forget the men who died and gave that right to me! And I'll gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today. Cuz there ain't no doubt I love this land....God Bless the USA!

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 10

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6 On days like today when I get stressed about things I have no control over, I try to remember that God tells us over and over to give thanks for every thing. I know it sounds silly but when I am just freaking out I start thanking God for the things that He has given me throughout the day.

Today, is a prime example. I slept through my alarm but God managed to wake me up in time. I had to thank Him for that because this was not the day I needed to be late or miss. I got to school and was greeted with an unexpected meeting. I was told the parents were upset but when I got in there it was just the opposite. The parents wanted to let us know we were doing a great job. Another prayer of thanks. One of my students finally caught on to a concept that was giving us all fits. A major prayer of thanks!

The day is not over but I just have to say that my perspective and attitude changes when I lift up things with a thankful heart instead of whining all the time. Trust me, I do my fair share of whining but as I grow in my walk, I find that my first words are not so much "I want...." as they are "Thank you for...."

Today, I am thankful for you and your family wherever you are.

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 9

I am thankful for my close friends. They are the ones who really know and love me anyway. They know my faults and still manage to put up with me. They know all the crazy things and still help me stay sane through it all. Without these people in my life I would have gone over the edge a long time ago. I believe that God put them in my life as a physical anchor for me to have. God has blessed me with some godly women to be my friends to pray for me and talk with me and my best friend--my husband to hold me through the ups and downs of life.

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 8

Today is a Wordless Day of Thankgiving. Enjoy!

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 7

Again I am late with this post but it is finally here. I am thankful that God blessed with an inquisitive mind. I love to research things. I love historical things but I am notorious for what my friends at work call "hunting down the rabbit until it can't run anymore." If I don't know something then I will research everything I can about it. I want to know things and I want to feel like I can contribute to conversations.

There are people out there that think I am really a ditsy person. Sometimes I am but for the most part I think I have some sort of smartness in me. If I don't understand something then why would I continue to want to be ignorant. I want to understand.

God placed this desire in me and gave me the mind to know how to figure things out. I want to use what he gave me. I hate being thought of as ditsy and such so I go out and figure things out. I research the Bible when I can't figure out what a passage means. I think God likes that. I think He puts that into us so that we will dive deeper into his word and we will "hunt the rabbit til it can't run anymore."

I will admit that sometimes my inquisitiveness does get me into trouble but for the most part it allows me to become a more well rounded person.

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 6

I am behind but then again what is new. I am thankful for the privilege of hearing. That has been especially true lately since my middle son had to have his eardrum fixed. I love listening to the sounds of nature, music, my family. There are times when I think I want it quiet but then when those rare times happen, I find that I really didn't like it so much.
I love listening to the birds and animals outside with their different calls and such. It is almost comforting. I love music! What more needs to be said there. I love how it calms me when I need to calm or it makes happy when I am anything but that. Right now we are learning our Christmas Choir music and it is so pretty. It evokes the most wonderful pictures in my head. I love how music does that. I am grateful that God allows me to hear him through music and through the sounds of nature and through His word. So for today, I am thankful for hearing.

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 5

I am thankful today for the ability that God gave me. I am teacher. I didn't want to be a teacher because people always told me that I was going to be a teacher. God allowed me to follow my own path for a while but then I gave up and allowed God to do what He wanted to do with me. As a result, it was teaching. I think I am pretty good at it. I don't teach like everyone else. I teach the way I think I would want to learn. Hands on, interactive, and involved. Not just sitting in a chair, taking notes, and listening to someone drone on and on. I know that God has blessed me in this because every test I have taken for certification has been passed the first time. It is totally God. I have been doing this for 10 years now and I find that I still enjoy going to work every day and facing the challenges/adventures that await me.

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 4 Part 2

Jesse has made us laugh, given me a few gray hairs, and loves freely from his heart. He is creative and smart.

I am especially thankful for my 3rd blessing who turned 13 years old today. He was born on Tuesday at 12:30pm. He was the cutest baby in the hospital nursery. Of course he was the only baby in the nursery but still the cutest. Most of all, he is my baby.

I love his laugh and the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles. He is caring, devoted, and generous through and through. I am so blessed that I have him in my life. For this I am extremely thankful.

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 4 Part 1

This picture is not of my actual pantry. Why am I showing a picture of a pantry? Well, in Philippians 4:19 it says: "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Jesus Christ." Now I know that the Bible was talking about spiritual things but today I am thankful for God supplying what we need physically. I feel blessed that our pantry is stocked with supplies and that if something did happen then we would be okay for a while. People laugh at my pantry because I do keep things in stock but if someone needs food or if there is a request for something then I have it available to give. God blessed us with it and we bless others in the same way. So today I am thankful for God supplying our needs.

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 3

Today I am thankful for the nature outside. I love that God can paint such gorgeous pictures with just a movement from Him. It amazes me how the leaves change, how the sunset is NEVER the same, and how many types of birds and animals there are that are elegant and graceful. I am always stopping to look out over the view from my house at the wondrous beauty that is there. I am in awe every time. It never ceases to amaze me.
I am thankful that God put it there for me to enjoy. I know that it is not just for me but I like that I am able to enjoy it. Someone once said, take time to smell the roses and I believe you should do it every chance you get.

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 2

For Day 2, I am thankful for my three sons. They are my world. They make me laugh so much. They are smart and handsome. They are talented in so many ways. They are wonderful. I pray everyday for them and their future. I pray for their future wives. I pray that they are given all the blessings that God can give them. Without my boys, I would not be the mom I am today. These are the best 3 blessings that anyone could be thankful for.

30 Days of Thanksgiving--Day 1

Okay, I didn't start on time. Story of my life. Anyway. On the first day of Thanksgiving I am thankful for my husband. He knew from the start that I came with crazy baggage and yet, he stuck with me and continues to love me through it all. He drives me nuts at times but he is the one I pour my heart out to and he is the one who holds me when I just need to be held. He always says this about me but I think it is true about him--He completes me. I chose this picture because I love him all dressed up and he looks hot in a suit.

Becoming a Writer

I would love to be a writer. I have stories crawl through my head all the time. I have pictures in my head and I can here how the characters sound. I just can't get it to sound right when I try to write. It sounds flat and my descriptions don't do what's in my head justice.
I have always had an active imagination. I first remember making up stories and characters when I was in first grade. I would finish my work and apparently I would disturb others so my teacher had me go to the closet. I created the greatest stories ever in there. Ever since then I have had stories in my system. I have tried many times to write them down but they just don't happen on paper. I won't be able to write about vampires or wizards or cow dogs and such. Those aren't things that I can relate to or want to write about.
I wish I could take video tape of my brain so that I could replay it and write the stories that are in there down. I would love to finally get it right and that means taking a chance again. Maybe I will. Who knows.

My grandparents

I absolutely loved my grandmother and my granddaddy. They were such a huge part of my upbringing. I remember when I would get sick, I would go stay with my grandparents. My grandmother would make up the sofa bed so that I could lay down and watch Sesame Street, Electric Company, and Captain Kangaroo. Once these shows were over then if I was feeling a bit better she would make the sofa back up again and I would lay on the sofa the rest of the day.
Now my grandmother was not a huge TV watcher but every day at 1230pm right after the noon day news, As the World Turns came on. Everything in the house came to a stop so that my grandmother could watch that show. It was on for an hour and she would stop what she was doing, watch the show, and crochet. Other than Lawrence Welk on Saturday evenings I don't recall her watching TV. She is the one who taught me to play piano. I remember she would go every other Saturday to the Lechinstein's department store in downtown Corpus to get her hair done. While she did that we all hung out in the mezzanine area watching people. I loved those days.
My granddaddy did a lot but I am not too sure what all he did now that I think about it. I know he read a lot and he studied on things that interested him. At one time he was Pre-Med and at another time he was Pre-Law. He was retired when I was born. I know that he spent a lot of time with me. He was my true blue hero the day the trantula incident happened. He never thought my questions or stories were stupid. About the only time I ever saw him mad was the day it snowed (I was 5) and I built my snowman against his metal garage door. It refroze and he couldn't get into the garage where his car was. He had an appointment and had to call and reschedule because of the snowman. He encouraged me to go down my own path and to be independent but not too independent.
Why am I writing about them now? Thanksgiving and Christmas are hard holidays for me. I love them both and I get excited about them but at the same time I struggle with them. Growing up, these holidays were low key and proper. The first time I celebrated these holidays with Jeff's family, I almost went into shock. Every year, I get excited and am determined that this will be the year I make it through without the blahs setting in. Every year I find myself wishing I had my grandparents there one more time. Maybe by writing about them, it will help.
I will probably write more memories about them over the next few months. I might even write about the trantula story.

Announcement Update

I have made a dent. Two large bags for Goodwill, school supply box gone through and organized, magazines gone through and boxed up, sheets and blankets put away. Now to get all the clothes and shoes where they belong. Then to tackle the books and ironing. I am making progress even if it doesn't look like it.

Announcement

I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.

I am going to clean my house this weekend. Totally and completely. Don't go into shock. Just know that I will conquer this feat. I am determined. I think. Maybe.

I Love My Job

As the song says, "Let's start at the very beginning. A very good place to start......"
When I was growing up I was surrounded by educators. My granddaddy was a principal/superintendent, my grandmother taught Spanish for a while, and my mom was/is a teacher. I think for the first few years of my life I thought that there were only two things you did in the world. Teach and work in the oil field. (Guess where my daddy worked?) Anyway, as I proceeded to get older, I heard people constantly tell me that I was going to be just like the rest of the family and be a teacher.
If you know even remotely know something about me, it is this. I do not like people telling me what I will and won't do with my life. So like the good rebellious child that I was, I turned my back on the education world. There was no way, no how that I was going to be a teacher. I did tell several people that I was going to work with kids but in my brain, I was going to be a counselor who made kids better mentally. I taught day care kids during the summer time and really liked it but I was not going to be a teacher.
I majored in Psychology/Social Work and interned to become a juvenile probation officer. I had a job lined up for when I graduated and I thought I was set to go. Unfortunately, the day I graduated college I was told that I didn't have the right degree and no job. Well. I floundered around for a while and after a bit I ended up substituting at Grandview and Maypearl. I found that I liked the different levels I got to teach at. Not long after I got married, I went to work at Grandview as an aide. (My hat is off to those people who do that job. Without them I think the school might fall down.) I knew I wanted to do something with my degree and eventually I was hired on at Presbyterian Children's Home in Itasca. I really did like my job there. I learned how to take extensive notes, discovered my obsession with forms, and worked with kids who needed help. After 5 years though, I was ready to stay home with my own kids and be a mom. Now at this point I need to say that I had not held a job more than 5 years. I tend to get bored and want a change of scenery, challenge, whatever you want to call it.
That went well for a while even though we were broke beyond broke. Finally, God decided He was done with my plan and it was time for Him to step in. Barbara Truby called one day and offered me a job. I prayed about, talked it over with Jeff and accepted a teaching position that was suppose to last one year. The minute school was out and I thought about looking for a job, Barbara called again but this time with the name of a certification program. I was hooked. I went in to talk with the people and within a year was certified to teach.
That first teaching job was 10 years ago. I thought about that today. I have held this job for 10 years. I haven't taught the same grade level or subject over the last 10 years. I have taught 1st grade, 4th grade, 6th grade, and special ed. I have learned that I am not cut out for the little guys and that I love the underdogs.
I love my job. I love being able to label everything, playing games with the kids, finding that right thing that makes a kid have a light bulb moment. I know that a lot of teachers say they never see the fruits of their labor until many years later but I know I have made a difference when the kids actually "get" what I am teaching or when they walk out of class talking about what I taught that day.
Darn it!!! All those people who told me that I would be a teacher when I grew up knew what they were talking about. Actually, I am kind of glad otherwise I would think I was just born to be bossy and in charge all the time.

Dreamin'

Lately I have been doing some thinking. I know what some of you are thinking--"Is that what all the squeaking was"? HAHA. Anyway, like I said, I have been thinking. There are several things that I have been wondering about and dreaming about.
First let me tell you about this dream. I dreamed that I was able to do anything I wanted because I had unlimited funds. (I always have unlimited funds in my dreams. It is a happy dream and just that--a dream.) I am not sure where Jeff and the boys are but they aren't around. I decide that I am going to go out on my own. I go to Idaho and find the most remote part of land that I can. Then I fly in a crew who builds me a house (think Little House on the Prairie house) that is equipped with solar panels and a windmill and a back up generator. The house also has a fireplace and the wonderful builders chop enough wood for the winter. It also has a water well. It is a house of comfort without being on the grid. I then fly in furniture, enough food supplies for several months, and I move in. I have a satellite phone and computer so that if there is a point where I want to communicate I can. I am set. Winter moves in and I am comfy with my homemade quilts and all. I make a schedule and follow it. I bake, sew, make rugs, quilt, and draw. (I said it was a dream!) I make it through the winter despite what everyone thinks. It is wonderful. When I wake up from this dream, I am at peace.
There is a piece of me that wishes I could do this. It is basically called running away. I would like to run away sometimes. When the pressure of work, finances, home, and all start building up, I think about my dream spot or in other words, I run away in my brain. I guess this sounds stupid. I figure a lot of people will read this and think how selfish I am. I am not trying to be selfish but just trying to find a place that is all my own where no one else can knock on the door and invade. Where I can dream and be alone.
I am not sure that my family understands this. My husband has all day alone. He has to deal with some people but for the most part, he is alone. My kids have their alone time with their video games and college and all. I am around people all day, every day, except for 1 hour on Wednesday nights. (That is when my guys are gone and I stay home). I just want time alone without interruptions, etc. My husband likes me to be with him in the evenings so that is what I do. I have found that I stay up late at night because that is the only time in the day when there is no one around. Right now, I would like to take a vacation away from it all. Sleep til I wake up, go where I wanted to go, shop if I wanted to, go sightseeing if I wanted to, etc.
Don't get me wrong. I love my family and they are precious to me. I would miss them horribly if they weren't in my life but every once in a while...
Well, back to the real world and the reality of life. Gotta love it.

Significance

Let me preface this note by saying, that I am now a 43 year old woman and I am secure in my self. To my true blue buds, don't freak out-- I am just sharing tonight. That being said....
I feel insignificant. I look at my life and wonder did I make the right decisions? For instance, cutting my hair off--bad decision. Marrying my husband and having 3 of the smartest boys ever--good decision. Taking out credit cards at any time in my life--BAD decision. Skipping my senior year of high school--at the time, good decision. This could go on for a while...
Anyway, what has prompted this latest round of self examination is some pictures that friends are posting from high school, college, etc. There was a girl in school that I tried to be like because I thought that she was the perfect girl. I wanted to be just like her. I wanted to look like her (that wasn't going to happen because she was a size 4, beautiful hair, perfect smile, perfect wardrobe, etc). Try as I could I finally realized I was the hick to her beauty. She could sing, act, smile, flirt, was quiet, sweet, soft, and a southern belle kind of girl. She was always homecoming queen, Miss Congeniality, the high school beauty, (just my luck that we went to the same college so...)--the college beauty, the perfect teacher, probably the perfect wife and mother. I understand that even today, she is still a size 4 after having kids and is drop dead gorgeous. This comes from a guy's perspective though so I don't know. I wanted to be her. In my mind, I knew that someday I could achieve this goal. I have a picture of her for motivation to lose weight. Yeah...I think it actually motivated me to eat more.
In my mind, she has always been the perfect person.
She has always been the person that is like a thorn in your side because I can't be perfect like her. Even my mom wanted me to be more like her. Actually I think every mom wanted their daughter to be more like her. It frustrated me then and it frustrates me now that I can't be like her.
I want you to know that I have given it my best shot. I married my college sweetheart, she did too. I had no one except immediate family (my choice because I have a hot temper) and a homemade dress for my wedding, I am willing to bet that she had the blowout of the century style wedding with the most gorgeous dress. I had 3 handsome boys, she had 2 kids of her own. I moved to the country and small town, she stayed in the big city. I gained several many pounds, she actually lost weight.
I still love to act, though I don't much because...well..., I still make a joyful noise (sing), I still yell at the top of my lungs and talk loudly. I bake, laugh, and make some mean sweet tea. I play games with my friends, and have intense Mario party wars with my boys. I love the goofiest movies, classic television shows, and music. I am working on my photo taking abilities and developing a knack for crocheting scarves (it's all they taught me and that was an intense effort on my niece's part). I would like to think that I teach pretty well (although there are those people who would debate that) and I can't resist babies.
There are no fancy awards sitting around my house unless you consider my sons' trophies for sports, etc. and there is no Nobel prize of any kind around, no van Cliburn award anywhere, no Emmys or Oscars. No Grammys. I just have my marriage that has lasted almost 21 years, my 3 smart boys who have all skipped a grade throughout their academic career, and a peaceful, calm house in the country with a great view. Maybe there is no significance according to the world but I am thinking that I am more significant than I give myself credit for. Did I make the right choices, not always but there are some big ones that I am quite proud of.

My Whiney Moments

I am going to take a minute and whine. "I have been sick." :( Okay. Now that I got that out of the way, I need to, as some people in the family would say, "suck it up cupcake." Jesse was kind enough to share a virus with me. It allowed me to get some much needed rest and some weight loss. I am happy to once again be able to be in the upright position without the side effects of the virus.
I did find out that my guys can somewhat survive without me in the picture. As long as there is the makings for Jambalaya and pizza and tots then they can make it for a couple of days without me in the picture. I posted on face book that I had a dream while I was sick. I dreamed that I was in bed sick and while I was sleeping, all the laundry was washed, folded, and put away, the house was cleaned better than it had ever been, and there was this pot of corn-crab chowder simmering on the stove. When I seriously woke up, I could almost smell the chowder cooking. But alas, a dream is just that....
I was scheduled to go visit my girl this weekend at SFA but after getting sick, I thought that I had better recoup completely first before tackling a 4 hour ride in the car. So, I will work on laundry and house cleaning instead. Maybe that is the point in me not going this weekend. Maybe I am suppose to stay home and get the things done that I have put off doing. Then again, I may rest.....sleep sounds so good right now.......

My Special Time

Jeff has the lovely pleasure of working every other Saturday. In case you didn't catch that, it was sarcasm. Anyway, since he started having to work this schedule, I have started my own ritual. I get up between 8:00am and 9:00am and go to IHOP. I go alone. I take a book and I go. I always order the same thing because it is really all I like there. Mainly I go for the pancakes but they make a mean omelet as well. I confess that I have been doing this for about 4 months now. My kids sleep in and generally, I am back home before they wake up unless I have errands to run.
It is like a little holiday for me. It allows me to treat myself to a little something special. I have been trying hard not to buy clothes, shoes, or stuff for the house because of the budget. But every other week I spend my $10 for this vice.
Even with all the people talking around me, the clanking of dishes, silverware, etc. I find that this is a great place to lose myself in a book. Mind you, I never take a book that requires deep thought. It is usually something easy to read, something I have read before, or my latest obsession--Newbury Award books. (I am working on reading all the Newbury Award winner books this school year). I spend a leisurely hour or so, eating my breakfast, reading, and relaxing. It is so nice.
Today, I was seated in the middle of the room at a table. I was obviously alone and that was made even more evident when they came took all the other chairs from my table. There were several older couples there and a lot of college kid couples as well. One couple looked over at me and mentioned how sad it was that I was alone. I smiled at them and went on with my reading. You see, several years ago I would not have done this. I was mortified to even think about going to a sit down place where people would stare at me because I was alone. I would drive through places instead. Then one day I decided that I really wanted to eat at a place I loved and the heck with what people thought. I happen to have a book with me at that time and so I ventured in and once I had ordered I pulled out my book. I discovered that I had been foolish in my thinking. What did it matter if other people had a problem with me eating alone? I found that day that I liked it because I could take a few minutes and do something I loved. Read. I was and do complain that I never have time to just sit down and read and here it was. The perfect solution.
Now, I look forward to that time. A perfect little holiday, getaway, vacation. Time to just, as we say at school, Drop Everything And Read (DEAR) time. The only thing I ask is that you don't let Jeff and the boys know. They think I am home in bed during this time. Shhhhh!! :)

I admit it. I am not a football fan. I do not enjoy watching it nor participating in it. I am one of those people that has one of two reasons to be at the game. One, their child is participating in some form or fashion in an aspect of the game. In my case, my 2 younger children are both percussionists in the marching band so therefore I go. The other reason is because the spouse drug you there under protest. I have done that before as well. I know what the stats of the game mean, I know the rules of the game, and I understand the game. I just don't like the game. I don't even like to watch it on television with one exception. Super Bowl. The only reason I like to watch it then use to be for the commercials. Now, the commercials are so trashy at times that I don't enjoy that either.
I guess this dislike for the game goes back to my childhood. It was the absolute one thing that my daddy really watched and got into. He wasn't much of a television kind of guy when I was younger except when football was on. He yells at the television as if they could hear him coaching them. I think he was thrilled when my brother came along so that there would be someone to watch with the same enthusiasm that he had. My mom enjoys football almost as much as my dad. In high school, I would rather babysit than go to a game. The few times I did go were because my brother was playing. I think I went twice. I never have. It must be a rogue recessive gene.
I wanted desperately to be a cheerleader but not to go to the football games. I wanted to cheer for basketball and really and truly, the main reason I wanted to be a cheerleader was so that I could be as loud as I wanted to without getting into trouble for it. Sad, but true.
So when you see me at the football games just sitting there looking bored but still trying to appear interested, you will know. I would rather be talking to friends, texting people, taking pictures, or reading a book (yes, I did that tonight). This just isn't my thing.
Now baseball and basketball are a whole other story.....I love them!!!!

Contemplations

I have been in a contemplative mood of late and have been analyzing things in my life. There are things that I would change and then there are things that I wouldn't change. I think it is fair to say that most everyone contemplates these kinds of things at one time or another in their life.
As I have stated before, one thing that I would do if I had the finances, etc. is to become a wedding planner. I like the idea more and more and if I had a shot I would do it. Another thing I would do is (and of course this would fall under the "if I had unlimited amounts of money" category) find a secluded area where there was access to a decent sized river, mountains, forest, and such that was only accessible by air. I would then have a solid, well insulated cabin built that had good solar energy panels, a good sized windmill, good fireplace, back up generator, water well, and satellite computer/phone service. I think it would be interesting to see if I could survive there. Of course I would start with plenty of supplies so that I could get going. I could see myself doing just fine in that environment. I have even sketched a drawing of the cabin. I didn't say that I would be without comforts because anyone who knows me, knows that roughing it means staying at the Motel 6. :)
As for things that don't require the "unlimited funds", I would like to have a nice garden, home canned goods in the pantry, chickens that lay eggs, and some things like that. Sadly, there is Chico so the chicken thing is out. I think I could do the gardening and canning.
Things I would not change are my husband and my boys. They are my life line. I think I would feel aimlessly lost without my family. Don't get me wrong, I know that God is first and foremost in my life and that He is my rock. That is a biggie. I just love having my guys around. I love having their sense of humor, their antics, even their arguing. They are the bright spots in my life.
I guess I am having a restless time in my spirit right now and that is the reason for all of this. Well, time to calm the restlessness and get back to reality.

Selfish

I am such a selfish person. There I admit it. It's not something I am proud of but I am.
I am selfish when it comes to Jeff and the boys. I know there are times when I say I need a break but really and truly, I can't stand not being with them. I am one of the people that would have a "compound" out where I live with my kids and their families living here so that all of them would be around me.
I am selfish when it comes to my kids at school. I expect everyone to do what is best for them and when someone is unwilling to do that then I tend to get a bit on the (VERY) irritated side of life. Basically, when it comes to my kids, it's my way or the highway. There is no gray area.
I am selfish when it comes to my time. I tend to volunteer a lot and agree to do things even though I am already busy beyond belief. Then I have a problem understanding why I am tired and stressed. I am getting better about saying "no" and not volunteering so much. I am a work in progress in this area.
I am selfish when it comes to time with God. I work hard every day to spend time with God. Most of the time, I pray but I do try to work in some bible study. Bible study is not my strong suit but I am getting better about it. I am working on areas that God leads me to and I am learning a lot. I always allow time in my day to pray. I am very selfish about this.
I wish I could tell you that I am getting better at not being so selfish but sadly, this is not the case. I am a work in progress. What more can I say?